I thought I would share some of my difficulties lately and how I’m dodging the punches.
Someone very close to me is involved in the dissolution of her marriage due to a emotionally abusive spouse. Her spouse also knows my ex husband (I divorced him about 17 years ago).
I have found out that her husband and my ex shit talk about me throughout some family events (involving my adult children and grandchildren- those are most events I continue to be around my ex husband). I also found out that my ex inquired (to the person close to me) wondering if she was being unduly influenced to leave her husband by someone he did not name (I’m guessing it is me) and I have been super angry and negative being re exposed to abuse and emotional manipulation by my ex husband.
I have a difficult time managing this again, the negativity and emotions this stirs up is overwhelming for me.
I have a stressful job and do not need the additional negativity that this information affects me.
How do I manage? I have been focusing on things I can control to help myself. Can I control other people? No. Can I control outside events? No. Does other people’s shit have anything to do with me? No. If someone else is a douche, does that have to affect me? No.
Can I control what I focus on? Yes. About a week ago, I was listening to a podcast of Rachel Hollis interviewing Brendon Burchard. I was so impressed I subscribed (it’s FREE!)to Brendon’s podcast “The Brendon Show” and also bought his workbook “the high performance planner” and his book “High Performance Habits”. In 2018 Brendon reads his whole book as part of his podcast (so you can listen to his book for free!) and it’s so inspiring. It reminds me to live according to my own values. I especially like the planner and the ways I daily remind myself to set an intention, remind myself the person I want to be, a way to demonstrate excellence to myself, ways to coach myself through the day and ways to determine if I have been successful in my day (along with three goals to keep my focus every day).
This has been a huge support in dealing with this new situation and previous triggers from my abusive past marriage.
If any of you out there are struggling, I strongly suggest looking this up and listening. Everything will be ok, you can do it, you are strong enough, you are smart enough, you matter, you are important.
I think I’m finally getting the hang of 2019; it’s taken a couple weeks but I might be back to myself. Two weeks of three day work is nice but the added burden of completing 5 days of work in 3 (two weeks in a row) is exhausting. How do you adjust to change or stress? It takes a lot out of me for the most part. Usually change or stress can be managed with self care but I’ve been slacking in that area too! What’s up with all this??
Anyway, enough talk of my difficulties! It’s time to focus on fashion! 👗
I purchased a sweater from Loft lately, it was on sale for $20 and I’ve sure got my money’s worth. It’s so cute! It’s dark blue with gold polka dots and has a rounded hem. It’s so fun!
One day I paired it with my gold skirt and leopard boots for a fun Sunday look (sparkly earrings too!)
The next outfit idea is pairing my polka dot sweater with my gray jeans, a blue plaid jacket from Cabi, my snakeprint boots from Target and this snuggly faux fur lite blue coat also from Target. I was staying warm this day for sure!
One thing I try to make sure is that when I’m thinking of buying an item- I make sure I can think of several outfits to combine with it! That makes my wardrobe stretch really far! You can do this too if you want and it’s also fun to see how many combinations result from one new item.
Happy reruns friends!
Hello friends! And welcome to another installment of my thriftiness/thankfulness marathon labeled as closet creativity! I hope my efforts to shop my closet help you think of ways you can also do the same!
Today I’m sharing a new (yet old) outfit I created from my closet and I really had some fun! First I snagged my blue floral pants by Loft (purchased last year or year before) a T shirt from Target, my striped cardigan (newer but not in the last two months) and I was stuck at what to do with my feet! These pants are normally a summer staple and wear with one or two open toe shoes but it’s not very warm although I still wanted to do something fun! Then I remembered my glitter pumps I purchased last year from White House Black Market and realized my cute patterned socks (Amazon) would match perfectly with the turquoise detail running through the pants!
All day I was mesmerized by the sparkle and floral of my shoes/socks/pants. I’m so glad I decided to shop my closet because I have somewhat forgot about these glitter pumps and it being the holiday season, glitter is so trendy and fun-not to mention adding the socks which is such a fun look I’ve seen on many of my favorite Instagrammers!
I have a typically difficult job as a therapist in a residential setting; most of my clients are difficult, complicated, and struggle with powerful mental illness and/or addiction. It’s normal for someone in my field to develop distractions or ways to make sure they don’t burn out. I have to say that my glitter heels were a much needed distraction the day I wore them.
Normally many people see fashion as frivolous and silly, but my blog, my Instagram, being creative with my closet, wearing glittery heels to work, this is what helps me avoid burn out and this friends: This Is Real World Problems.
Thanks for reading and being on my journey with me!the real world news
I’m feeling kind of tired and discouraged today, I know that’s not fun to hear about but it’s real life (I get tired (worn down) of speaking about trauma and death all the time) so I came home to watch Downton Abbey on Amazon. I know it’s not new on TV but it’s still fun to watch and I’m so enamored of this era and all the fun clothing. I should have made it a priority to watch the Royal Wedding a couple days ago (It was so early in the morning!) but I love that kind of thing…fairy tales and all! Downton is cheering me up! I just love Aunt Violet (Maggie Smith); she is so funny and talented! There’s also a rumor going around about a Downton Abbey movie sometime! Wouldn’t that be wonderful??
So this weekend I got to lay in bed after six am twice!! I think it’s so peaceful to wake up naturally:) (granted I did wake up sweating at 1am but I’m pretty sure that had to do with yesterday being the hottest day so far (freaking AC is not on) and NOT me waking naturally LOL).
Even though I was very busy yesterday: grandson basketball game, lunch with kids, grocery shopping, wash car, organizing my pantry and putting in shelves, laundry mat to wash huge mattress pad and pillows, but at the end of the day I felt very accomplished (Celebrated by watching 2nd Avengers!) I even found time to discover a new pair of fringe sandals and circle bag at Target (while looking for shelves!) so I really think as I accomplished stuff on my list, I gradually de stressed and was able to find something cute!!
What a great weekend! (I hope your weekend was lovely too and thanks so much for reading my random weekly thoughts!)
Hello Friends and happy Wednesday!
It seems as if Wednesday came really quickly to me, what happened? Well I attended a neighborhood gathering on Monday, last night went to the movies and all of a sudden it’s Wednesday! Yay! Maybe I should have plans every night for some type of fun? It seems to lower my stress with work right?
I thought I would share a fun look inspired by my recent copy of In Style magazine (Demi Lovato on the cover).
I love to get inspiration by magazines and I saw in one page spread several pictures of light pink and yellow or gold together. I thought I would copy that look with my baby pink sweat pants (JCPenney) and my yellow “anchor” sweatshirt (OldNavy). It’s a fun combination, although a little casual for work, so I added my pink (Coach) sandas (I got them last year for my daughter’s wedding) and a fun (Betsy Johnson) bag I got not too long ago at TJMaxx with glittery rose gold earrings. I think the accessories raised my look to more dressy for work.
When I got home I switched into my pink sneakers for a fun movie night, we saw “I Could Only Imagine” and seriously it was amazing. Go and see if you have a chance, great movie! Hope you like my pink and yellow look and….happy Wednesday!
I think today is the most difficult Wednesday I’ve had all year.
You know I’m a therapist right? So it seems like today 75% of my clients were in distress, which means a high level of distress for me. If a couple of my clients are distressed, I can usually manage without difficulty. When three or four of my clients are in distress, it’s a little overwhelming but wow today everything was going wrong and it was difficult!
I imagined it would be more helpful if I walked around with a fire extinguisher and Whoosh! Every time someone started to talk to me…Tracie…Whoosh! Tracie can you Whoosh! Tracie I ….Whoosh! All the fires out, I’ve put out all the fires and no one is stressed…everyone is cooled down 😉 Firefighting 101 right? Put out all fires…maybe I need several extinguishers?
Regardless, I still like to dress up fun even if I think I’m going bonkers! Here is my cute outfit today (found this darling skirt and sweatshirt at H&M) ; I took my selfies before work when it’s 30 degrees outside and my toes start getting numb (I got a pedicure last night and wore sandals cause my toe nails are super cute) and my fingers are cold but after work it’s 48 degrees, the sun is shining and I can think about something else for a few minutes. (Someone did point out today that my laptop matches my clothes…SCORE!)
and yes my screen saver is a black Camaro