Category Archives: self care

Laughter, the Best Medicine

Hello friends and happy Thursday!

I just had to share something hilarious from last night.

Our daughter and her two children (age 8 and 4) are living with us. It’s been a big change for all of us and we often have such fun!

Last night my husband came home late from work; he’s been working long hours the last couple of weeks and I think the grandchildren miss seeing him because they go to bed around 8pm. So last night after arriving home, hubs is in the bathroom and my four year old grandson is really anxious to see grandpa!

He is standing outside the bathroom yelling to his grandpa….and we can hear the whole conversation….

“Grandpa unlock the door”….”just a minute bud, I’m almost done”

“Grandpa are you done”? ….”just a minute bud, I just got home from work”

” Grandpa Are you wiping“???!! (SILENCE)…..

OH MY HECK I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING!! THIS WAS A EPIC LAUGH TOO!

I IMMEDIATELY SENT A TEXT MESSAGE TO HUBS IN THE BATHROOM….ARE YOU WIPING???? LOL

This comedic moment brought to you by my sweet four year old grandson. You are welcome.

Dodging the Punches

Hey friends!

I thought I would share some of my difficulties lately and how I’m dodging the punches.

Someone very close to me is involved in the dissolution of her marriage due to a emotionally abusive spouse. Her spouse also knows my ex husband (I divorced him about 17 years ago).

I have found out that her husband and my ex shit talk about me throughout some family events (involving my adult children and grandchildren- those are most events I continue to be around my ex husband). I also found out that my ex inquired (to the person close to me) wondering if she was being unduly influenced to leave her husband by someone he did not name (I’m guessing it is me) and I have been super angry and negative being re exposed to abuse and emotional manipulation by my ex husband.

I have a difficult time managing this again, the negativity and emotions this stirs up is overwhelming for me.

I have a stressful job and do not need the additional negativity that this information affects me.

How do I manage? I have been focusing on things I can control to help myself. Can I control other people? No. Can I control outside events? No. Does other people’s shit have anything to do with me? No. If someone else is a douche, does that have to affect me? No.

Can I control what I focus on? Yes. About a week ago, I was listening to a podcast of Rachel Hollis interviewing Brendon Burchard. I was so impressed I subscribed (it’s FREE!)to Brendon’s podcast “The Brendon Show” and also bought his workbook “the high performance planner” and his book “High Performance Habits”. In 2018 Brendon reads his whole book as part of his podcast (so you can listen to his book for free!) and it’s so inspiring. It reminds me to live according to my own values. I especially like the planner and the ways I daily remind myself to set an intention, remind myself the person I want to be, a way to demonstrate excellence to myself, ways to coach myself through the day and ways to determine if I have been successful in my day (along with three goals to keep my focus every day).

This has been a huge support in dealing with this new situation and previous triggers from my abusive past marriage.

If any of you out there are struggling, I strongly suggest looking this up and listening. Everything will be ok, you can do it, you are strong enough, you are smart enough, you matter, you are important.

Shakespeare Confusion

Hey friends!

I hope you’ve all had a great weekend! We’ve actually had a lot of sunshine the last few days and it’s been wonderful! I don’t miss the ❄️

Hubs and I had a fun, yet super confusing experience at the theatre last night. We attended “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” which follows Hamlet through these two minor characters.

I have never ever ever been so confused in a play before. These two characters start out the play by themselves but they are confused themselves and keep finding themselves going in and out the story and characters of Hamlet.

I thought to myself, “I have no idea what’s going on…why is this so hard, I want to leave, I can’t stay awake, I’m gonna die, I can’t do this” but the tickets were snagged by good friends so I didn’t want to offend them.

I also knew there was an intermission so I kept thinking, “it’s not even halfway done, the intermission hasn’t even started, oh my gosh I can’t sit through this”!

When the intermission started I felt relieved but still frustrated because I couldn’t figure out what was going on and I typically understand Shakespeare.

As our friends and I started talking, I realized “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (really) Are Dead”. I said, what if they’re dead?? They can’t remember their names, don’t know where they were going or where they came from, there was a really weird coin toss which always resulted in the coin being “heads” up-impossible in real life, and they couldn’t follow the other characters as they left the scene they were in. It was weird but all of a freakin sudden made sense that they actually were dead but didn’t know it.

The last half of the play was more pleasant cause I knew they were dead and details made sense.

But seriously I don’t know if I’ve ever used that much brain power that late at night and took so long to understand something. Holy crap that was hard and maybe it prevented early Alzheimer’s but I never want to do that again…. a whole play focused on one persons idea of death.

Then again I have been binge watching Criminal Minds on Netflix and “Cold” podcast. Maybe an existential tragicomedy is just what my brain needed??

Check it out and see what you 🤔

Times I Didn’t Listen (and why I’m proud)

Hello friends!

I’ve been listening/watching several inspirational speakers (Rachel Hollis, Ashley Lemieux, Mike Lemieux, and Stuart Edge) which is really pumping me up to be myself! ❤️

Today I thought I would share the times in my life that I DID NOT LISTEN to others opinions of me and that makes me proud of myself.

Many years ago in admiring (someone close to me-their coworker physical workout and body improvement) I said “I want to do that, I want to do what they did” – to which my loved one said- “you can’t do that, what makes you think you can”? To which I thought to myself-watch me, and then I’ll rub your nose in it.

Many years ago the same person (now not part of my life) said “no one’s going to want to marry you or date you, you’re old and have all these kids”- to which I thought- you’re an a$$hole-I’m worthy just the way I am, anyone would be happy to be in a relationship with me.

Several years ago, in speaking with a loved one (different one this tome) about my course work in graduate school, she said “you don’t really think you can be a therapist do you? You can’t do that”. To which I thought, you aren’t really in my corner are you and yes I can. (We haven’t had much of a relationship since).

A couple of years ago someone said “you can’t really be a blogger or have a fashion Instagram-why are you trying”? To which I thought, wow you don’t know me at all do you? I am already doing that.

And then there are the three times I listened: one person (not really close but a trusted adult) shamed me for my voice-“why do you always talk like a baby”, another person close to me (or so I thought) shamed me for my voice- almost exact words, and another time I listened…someone shamed me for posting on Facebook and Instagram (about several things) AND I listened.

I’m not listening anymore to the voices that tell me who they think I should be -THAT IS MY DECISION-and that is why I’m sharing this with you today.

Gaming (In my House)

Hello friends!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I enjoyed myself immensely over the last four days off from work! I got to see some of my hubs family and then my children/grandchildren came over two of the last four days! I am so blessed!

I think the most fun I have is in “gaming” which means something different to me!

In our family, we love love love to play games! Lately we’ve been playing a lot of “Codenames”, “Sequence”, “Ticket to Ride”, “UNO” of course, “Pass the Pigs, and our grandkids gave us a new game “Skull King” which is very fun, a little like Pinochle, and my seven year old grandson is a whiz at! We played 10 rounds and yes I ended up winning (but that happened at the very last minute)! LOL

Our family loves all kinds of board games and card games. One epic game “Spoons” has resulted in physical injuries and dents in the walls as participants leap for spoons in acrobatic moves! I have so many fun memories of playing games with my children/grandchildren.

Check out these games listed above, you will not be disappointed!

Red= Cheerful and Festive

Hello friends and happy Sunday!

I am continuing with my series of shopping my closet! I hope you enjoy and I hope this inspires you to shop your own closet!

Here I am (right after surviving my semi annual dentist appointment) in my red trench (Nordstrom Rack probably about three years ago I think it’s Michael Kors-classic I know) my black Cabi Jeans, my H&M sweater earlier this year, sexy black Target/SugarFix earrings, my snugly Target loafers, and a fun bag (Deseuigal) procured from the Dallas airport last January! It was a gloomy cold day and who in their right mind is excited to see the dentist?? but my red brightened up my mood (especially after the appointment- seriously the hygienist stabbed my top gums by my dental implant with a two inch needle and wonders why it hurt! Seriously?? Stop stabbing me and I’ll be fine LOL!) I just had to vent about that, I’ll get back to the topic! LOL

I didn’t wear any lipstick to the appointment because I knew they (hygienist and dentist) would be stretching my lips to unusual proportions and it would just be a mess. So afterward I put on my red lipliner and lipstick and even though I had a headache and my teeth ached (I guess I’m still venting, but my teeth are good and everything looks great-I’m a good little flosser) so afterward I looked like everything was fine. And really it is, dental health is so important and it’s always matched my overall health so it’s a good sign.

So back to shopping clothes in my closet: If there is ever a time you want to be cheerful and festive, reach for that red friends! I haven’t wore these two (sweater and trench) together before, but they totally worked! Add the pop of red lips and I felt like I was wearing all new items. I felt so fresh and chic!

Closet Creativity

Hello friends! And welcome to another installment of my thriftiness/thankfulness marathon labeled as closet creativity! I hope my efforts to shop my closet help you think of ways you can also do the same!

Today I’m sharing a new (yet old) outfit I created from my closet and I really had some fun! First I snagged my blue floral pants by Loft (purchased last year or year before) a T shirt from Target, my striped cardigan (newer but not in the last two months) and I was stuck at what to do with my feet! These pants are normally a summer staple and wear with one or two open toe shoes but it’s not very warm although I still wanted to do something fun! Then I remembered my glitter pumps I purchased last year from White House Black Market and realized my cute patterned socks (Amazon) would match perfectly with the turquoise detail running through the pants!

All day I was mesmerized by the sparkle and floral of my shoes/socks/pants. I’m so glad I decided to shop my closet because I have somewhat forgot about these glitter pumps and it being the holiday season, glitter is so trendy and fun-not to mention adding the socks which is such a fun look I’ve seen on many of my favorite Instagrammers!

I have a typically difficult job as a therapist in a residential setting; most of my clients are difficult, complicated, and struggle with powerful mental illness and/or addiction. It’s normal for someone in my field to develop distractions or ways to make sure they don’t burn out. I have to say that my glitter heels were a much needed distraction the day I wore them.

Normally many people see fashion as frivolous and silly, but my blog, my Instagram, being creative with my closet, wearing glittery heels to work, this is what helps me avoid burn out and this friends: This Is Real World Problems.

Thanks for reading and being on my journey with me!the real world news