What’s Hair

Hello Friends and happy Friday! I hope everyone has some relaxation planned this weekend! I’ve mowed lawns and mopped floors this week, so that Saturday I can spend in my yard doing a little rose pruning. I think it will be relaxing 🙂

I’ve been following Rachel Hollis and have a strong interest in her Start Today Journal but have not bought said journal. She has a podcast detailing how to do the journal without actually buying one and I listened to that.

I finally decided to write down 10 of my dreams in the manner Rachel recommends.

The interesting thing about this exercise…I realized that none of my dreams have anything to do with my hair.

My hair (possibly in conjunction with my autoimmune disease-I am not sure) has been falling out at a terrific rate. I was a bit distressed by this until I went over my 10 dreams and got a little perspective.

One thing I realized, it’s not important, in the whole scheme of things whether my hair falls out or not.

I am an exceptional wife, mother and grandmother

I have XXXXX dollars in the bank

I am financially independent

I am a world traveler

I am a marathon bicyclist

I am spiritually connected to God

You see, there is nothing about my hair! There is also nothing about my looks. This was very helpful for me. I highly recommend Rachel Hollis system or really any of your choice that prompts you to list your goals in present stated form. I AM or I HAVE

We can all be our best person and that has nothing to do with my HAIR!

(I’m wearing my Halo in this picture FYI)

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Dodging the Punches

Hey friends!

I thought I would share some of my difficulties lately and how I’m dodging the punches.

Someone very close to me is involved in the dissolution of her marriage due to a emotionally abusive spouse. Her spouse also knows my ex husband (I divorced him about 17 years ago).

I have found out that her husband and my ex shit talk about me throughout some family events (involving my adult children and grandchildren- those are most events I continue to be around my ex husband). I also found out that my ex inquired (to the person close to me) wondering if she was being unduly influenced to leave her husband by someone he did not name (I’m guessing it is me) and I have been super angry and negative being re exposed to abuse and emotional manipulation by my ex husband.

I have a difficult time managing this again, the negativity and emotions this stirs up is overwhelming for me.

I have a stressful job and do not need the additional negativity that this information affects me.

How do I manage? I have been focusing on things I can control to help myself. Can I control other people? No. Can I control outside events? No. Does other people’s shit have anything to do with me? No. If someone else is a douche, does that have to affect me? No.

Can I control what I focus on? Yes. About a week ago, I was listening to a podcast of Rachel Hollis interviewing Brendon Burchard. I was so impressed I subscribed (it’s FREE!)to Brendon’s podcast “The Brendon Show” and also bought his workbook “the high performance planner” and his book “High Performance Habits”. In 2018 Brendon reads his whole book as part of his podcast (so you can listen to his book for free!) and it’s so inspiring. It reminds me to live according to my own values. I especially like the planner and the ways I daily remind myself to set an intention, remind myself the person I want to be, a way to demonstrate excellence to myself, ways to coach myself through the day and ways to determine if I have been successful in my day (along with three goals to keep my focus every day).

This has been a huge support in dealing with this new situation and previous triggers from my abusive past marriage.

If any of you out there are struggling, I strongly suggest looking this up and listening. Everything will be ok, you can do it, you are strong enough, you are smart enough, you matter, you are important.

Brutal Deliverance

Hey friends!

All this week I’ve been in a work paid training to assist my clients in moving beyond their trauma. The intervention is DBT PE-Dialectical Behavior Therapy- Prolonged Exposure.

The last two days we discussed (8:30-430) rationale for treatment, statistics showing drastic improvement or elimination of PTSD symptoms and structure of the intervention.

Today and tomorrow we watched videos of actual sessions (signed release of clients in video to use for training-no names) to help us understand how to administer the treatment.

One thing about watching the videos of sessions is that we as participants are privy to the terrible trauma a few people have experienced to be able to help many people move out of the terrible trap that is PTSD. I am happy to do this to help others; interestingly enough while understanding information yesterday, I realized -holy shit- I have trauma I haven’t taken care of. It would be good if I did this intervention/therapy myself and can also share with my clients the benefit of this work.

I got a referral from my boss to see someone trained in this PE and hopefully I can begin soon.

Yesterday after sharing my thoughts with my husband I slept well. I have some relief already I think.

I’ll share more of my journey as time goes on in the hopes that others can find peace as I do.

Shopping blues

Hello friends!

I’ve had a weird experience lately, I’ll cal it the shopping blues.

I went to Marshall’s, JCPenney, Target, and Old Navy and only found one blouse that I really liked. I got the one at OldNavy but sheesh am I depressed?? Really only find one thing to buy?

Granted I didn’t hit H&M or Ann Taylor but not a ton of time as I had an eye appointment yesterday after I got off work. Maybe I wasn’t really putting my whole effort into the experience?

Sometimes that happens to me and I think maybe I’m overwhelmed with work and need to watch some movies, go for a walk, get my toe nails done, play with grandkids, chat with friends, more movies, sleep in, garden, (maybe do my laundry and clean- not necessarily) -that’s my plan of self care and I think I’ll be back online shopping in no time 😜

Happy in sorrows

Hello friends!

I thought I would give an update to my week- it’s been a full week!

My employer is paying for me to travel to (city- undetailed as it would give info about my client) and visit my client’s memorial service which is really nice that they are willing to take care of this for me.

I have a couple of worries I will share:

1. I am an introvert and the only person I know is (dead)- I’m trying to be respectful but I don’t know another way to phrase it (at the same time I think my client would see this as a humorous situation)

2. I’ve never visited (certain city) other than the airport – and will be driving myself around- I hope I don’t get lost

3. I have to get up at 2 am for my flight- I might be tired – I will for sure need food (where can I find gluten free food in (city?) to help address fatigue

So I’ve googled all the places I need to drive and looked at the maps of all the locations. I also noticed several shopping locations which look like fun (my return flight is later so I might have an hour or two to explore). You all know I excel at shopping!

I do love to travel and discover new locales and I think discovering a new place and shopping (#self care) might distract me from being sad or overwhelmed on this trip. I’ll let you know what happens!

Weekend Revival

Good afternoon everyone! I had the best weekend! For starters, I got to spend the whole day with my two years old grandson, the weather was kind of drizzly, and he was such a snuggle bunny! I love that! He’s so cute!

Then I got to listen to the LDS broadcast of conference, women’s session last night which is another way I am empowered as a woman. I very much enjoyed the messages of peace, service, and connection as I am trying to live to be more like the Savior Jesus Christ.

Sunday we went to church which I love and helps me feel so much peace and then in the afternoon my newly married daughter and her new husband came over to visit. I feel so renewed. Really…time with my loved ones is one of the most important things to me and I count my blessing by the times I spend with them, so precious.

I thought to share a look from Sunday: I got this jacket from H&M some time ago and could never figure out what to wear with it but just love the colors and pattern. Last winter/spring I found a sparkly pleated midi skirt from WhoWhatWear Target and finally put my look together with a gorgeous navy blouse from Stitchfix and pumps. I know this sparkly skirt was originally for the holidays but I like to wear it for any occasion because I really like sparkle. Sparkle makes me happy, especially on a drizzly day.

Is there some way you can incorporate sparkle into your every day? I don’t think it’s just for the holidays. Take a risk and sparkle 🙂