Category Archives: health

You Are Enough-Be Vulnerable

Hello Friends!

It’s getting close to the New Year and I want to leave you with a few thoughts consistent with my last post.

In treatment with my clients lately I’ve been focusing on helping people increase their awareness of shame and how to combat it. Shame keeps us stuck, it keeps us from reaching out, it tells us we are not enough, we are not important. Shame is paralyzing and keeps us isolated.

Many people deal with depression and suicide thoughts and feel ashamed because they think that there is something wrong with them, they think this is something they deserve, they are suffering in silence and it is not necessary. According to the National Institute for Mental Health shares statistics that 17.3 million adults had at least one major depressive episode (2017-data courtesy of SAMHSA). Depression is no respecter of persons; these numbers indicate anyone is vulnerable to develop depression whether it is situational or genetic factors.

Situational depression can affect people through illness, marital change, employment change, or death of a loved one; even a move away from loved ones could affect developing depression. In addition trauma can affect a development of depression too.

There isn’t a reason to be ashamed for having depression or suicide thoughts. These things affect many people.

I suggest listening to Brene Brown on YouTube; she has a couple of really excellent TEDtalks about shame and vulnerability. These are also very popular, getting millions of views. She emphasizes the way to overcome or silence shame is to be vulnerable. As a therapist I see this meaning: talk to someone about your struggles. Find social support somewhere that you can speak openly about your struggles and discover that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

PLEASE REACH OUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING- it works.

 

TIPPs for Distressful Thoughts

Hello friends!

The holidays can be a difficult time for many people and sometimes those suffering can experience thoughts of suicide or self harm.

Here are some ideas to help if you’ve had these thoughts: I’ve coached many clients to manage these distressful thoughts by using DBT skills and it works very well!

When first experiencing suicide or self harm thoughts can be very painful and distressing, use the TIPP skill (temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, or paired muscle relaxation)

Temperature-hold an ice cube or dunk your face into an ice/cold water bowl for at least 5 seconds.

Intense exercise-run on a treadmill or outside for 3 minutes at a full sprint.

Paced breathing-deep breathing -slowly count to 4 as you breathe in, hold your breathe for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds and hold for 4 seconds-repeat for a couple of minutes.

Paired muscle relaxation-starting from your toes- tenae every muscle group for 5 seconds and then release- moving you to your head and face.

After having done all of TIPP, people are usually quite tired and in a different frame of mind but just in case…get involved in an activity with a friend, do something kind for someone else, connect with someone who loves you… and always important: make sure you get enough sleep, nutrition, exercise, and medications if any are recommended for you along with meeting with a professional.

I hope these tips (haha TIPP) help anyone who struggles in this area. Know you are important ❀️

Taking Care of You

Hello friends!

I’ve been absent for a bit, I apologize for my delay. I’ve been contemplating where to go with my blog for a couple of reasons.

First, I’ve realized that many people that are influencers often give away or resell their clothes after one photo shoot…(that doesn’t really appeal to me. I love my clothes and usually keep a quality piece for many years so that seems wasteful in my opinion although I know I cannot judge others…this is just what works for me).

Second, someone I knew from kindergarten through high school committed suicide about two weeks ago, no one knew he was suffering, and I’ve been thinking how to help others that struggle or suffer alone.

I thought for a time I might focus on offering advice for others how to deal with life when you have difficulties that seem too hard to bear. I am a therapist IRL working at a mental health/substance abuse treatment center for young adults, and I feel terribly sad knowing that people suffer without anyone knowing or without resources.

Here are some tips I’ve learned while studying DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy-created for people with Borderline Personality Disorder but very helpful with people struggling with suicide and self harm thoughts.

(A past client of mine created a little flip chart for therapists to reference when feeling like we are burned out and one page I particularly enjoy is:)

LOVE YOURSELF LIKE A NEW PUPPY: Prioritize good sleep habits, Nutrition, Exercise, Connection with people you enjoy (add:honest discussion about what is going on with you), Focus on practices that promote calmness and well being, Meditation, Journaling, Talk therapy, quiet time alone doing an activity you enjoy. (These ideas are gleaned from DBT)

Many people struggle with depression, anxiety, or suicide and self harm thoughts but that doesn’t have to mean your life is not worth living. Talk to someone and let them know what you are going through and get some help. Speaking up can be scary but after that, the darkness fades if you share it with someone. The burden is lighter if you share.

It’s A Woman Thing

So last night, I had to unwind before going to bed. Work this week was not a pleasant experience. (For some reason I feel like work should be fun! It shouldn’t be work, I don’t know where I’ve got this odd idea)

My Oprah magazine came in the mail and I thought I would read a bit to focus on something else!

I found an article on Menopause and thought I would see if there’s anything in it to help explain WTH my life feels the way it does πŸ˜‚πŸ˜† I was genuinely curious.

So, to give a little background. Thursday in heading in the door to work and finding out there isn’t an office – I felt this crazy surge of rage (and freak I’m not an angry person) and an image popped into my head of myself “throwing my metal water bottle at the speed of light smashing through the big glass window” in our main front office-WTH is wrong with me??

Anyway, back to my magazine and article on menopause. Did you know, unreasonable anger is a symptom of menopause?? When I read that, I thought you gotta be kidding me!! All this time I wondered if I was going crazy or if I was a bad person or somehow I’ve been crazy all along. Trust me, these are odd thoughts for me as a therapist but this totally makes sense to me.

There have been soooo many times at the checkout or in traffic or at work that I just feel outrageously angry and I never knew this is normal for a woman going through menopause.

First off, it might just be lucky that we don’t have many menopausal women going postal out in public cause I’ve managed to control my flash of anger but how is everyone else doing it?

Holy cow, wouldn’t it be nice if someone let us know this is what to expect when we will never be expecting?? Hopefully one day my hormones will settle down and I’ll be my normal self again.

Play That Sweater Again

Hey friends!

I think I’m finally getting the hang of 2019; it’s taken a couple weeks but I might be back to myself. Two weeks of three day work is nice but the added burden of completing 5 days of work in 3 (two weeks in a row) is exhausting. How do you adjust to change or stress? It takes a lot out of me for the most part. Usually change or stress can be managed with self care but I’ve been slacking in that area too! What’s up with all this??

Anyway, enough talk of my difficulties! It’s time to focus on fashion! πŸ‘—

I purchased a sweater from Loft lately, it was on sale for $20 and I’ve sure got my money’s worth. It’s so cute! It’s dark blue with gold polka dots and has a rounded hem. It’s so fun!

One day I paired it with my gold skirt and leopard boots for a fun Sunday look (sparkly earrings too!)

The next outfit idea is pairing my polka dot sweater with my gray jeans, a blue plaid jacket from Cabi, my snakeprint boots from Target and this snuggly faux fur lite blue coat also from Target. I was staying warm this day for sure!

One thing I try to make sure is that when I’m thinking of buying an item- I make sure I can think of several outfits to combine with it! That makes my wardrobe stretch really far! You can do this too if you want and it’s also fun to see how many combinations result from one new item.

Happy reruns friends!

Gaming (In my House)

Hello friends!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I enjoyed myself immensely over the last four days off from work! I got to see some of my hubs family and then my children/grandchildren came over two of the last four days! I am so blessed!

I think the most fun I have is in “gaming” which means something different to me!

In our family, we love love love to play games! Lately we’ve been playing a lot of “Codenames”, “Sequence”, “Ticket to Ride”, “UNO” of course, “Pass the Pigs, and our grandkids gave us a new game “Skull King” which is very fun, a little like Pinochle, and my seven year old grandson is a whiz at! We played 10 rounds and yes I ended up winning (but that happened at the very last minute)! LOL

Our family loves all kinds of board games and card games. One epic game “Spoons” has resulted in physical injuries and dents in the walls as participants leap for spoons in acrobatic moves! I have so many fun memories of playing games with my children/grandchildren.

Check out these games listed above, you will not be disappointed!

Red= Cheerful and Festive

Hello friends and happy Sunday!

I am continuing with my series of shopping my closet! I hope you enjoy and I hope this inspires you to shop your own closet!

Here I am (right after surviving my semi annual dentist appointment) in my red trench (Nordstrom Rack probably about three years ago I think it’s Michael Kors-classic I know) my black Cabi Jeans, my H&M sweater earlier this year, sexy black Target/SugarFix earrings, my snugly Target loafers, and a fun bag (Deseuigal) procured from the Dallas airport last January! It was a gloomy cold day and who in their right mind is excited to see the dentist?? but my red brightened up my mood (especially after the appointment- seriously the hygienist stabbed my top gums by my dental implant with a two inch needle and wonders why it hurt! Seriously?? Stop stabbing me and I’ll be fine LOL!) I just had to vent about that, I’ll get back to the topic! LOL

I didn’t wear any lipstick to the appointment because I knew they (hygienist and dentist) would be stretching my lips to unusual proportions and it would just be a mess. So afterward I put on my red lipliner and lipstick and even though I had a headache and my teeth ached (I guess I’m still venting, but my teeth are good and everything looks great-I’m a good little flosser) so afterward I looked like everything was fine. And really it is, dental health is so important and it’s always matched my overall health so it’s a good sign.

So back to shopping clothes in my closet: If there is ever a time you want to be cheerful and festive, reach for that red friends! I haven’t wore these two (sweater and trench) together before, but they totally worked! Add the pop of red lips and I felt like I was wearing all new items. I felt so fresh and chic!