Happy Sunday -our weekend is almost over 😳
I thought today, since it’s still January that I would focus on a subject I think often on. Perfection-what a lie.
We have been told throughout our lives that it’s possible to be perfect, each January many people talk about their New Years resolutions and how this year will be different and they will really do it right.
I actually don’t believe in being perfect. I don’t even hold much to New Years resolutions.
The idea of perfection is such a lie-none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes -often in one day! Thinking we have to be perfect can overwhelm us and lead to feeling shame about our imperfections or compare ourselves to others we “think” are perfect.
Life isn’t about being perfect. It’s enjoying the moment we are in and often remembering when we make mistakes to try and learn from what happened.
Failure is a good way to learn and gets a bad rep. I think failure is more important than perfection. Failure helps us learn what works, what we are good at, and what we need more practice in life. We all fail in life, we make mistakes, and hopefully we learn.
I’ve learned to be more gentle with myself and remember I don’t need to be perfect. I try to be kind to myself and others and I think the rest works out.
None of us are perfect. Let us NOT strive to be perfect.
It’s getting close to the New Year and I want to leave you with a few thoughts consistent with my last post.
In treatment with my clients lately I’ve been focusing on helping people increase their awareness of shame and how to combat it. Shame keeps us stuck, it keeps us from reaching out, it tells us we are not enough, we are not important. Shame is paralyzing and keeps us isolated.
Many people deal with depression and suicide thoughts and feel ashamed because they think that there is something wrong with them, they think this is something they deserve, they are suffering in silence and it is not necessary. According to the National Institute for Mental Health shares statistics that 17.3 million adults had at least one major depressive episode (2017-data courtesy of SAMHSA). Depression is no respecter of persons; these numbers indicate anyone is vulnerable to develop depression whether it is situational or genetic factors.
Situational depression can affect people through illness, marital change, employment change, or death of a loved one; even a move away from loved ones could affect developing depression. In addition trauma can affect a development of depression too.
There isn’t a reason to be ashamed for having depression or suicide thoughts. These things affect many people.
I suggest listening to Brene Brown on YouTube; she has a couple of really excellent TEDtalks about shame and vulnerability. These are also very popular, getting millions of views. She emphasizes the way to overcome or silence shame is to be vulnerable. As a therapist I see this meaning: talk to someone about your struggles. Find social support somewhere that you can speak openly about your struggles and discover that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
PLEASE REACH OUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING- it works.