Category Archives: Death

Great Men in my Life

Hello friends and Happy Tuesday!

I’m late with this post honoring the amazing men in my life for Father’s Day, but tomorrow is the anniversary of my dad’s death so honoring him now seems appropriate.

MY DAD: The first man that was important to me is my dad-Richard Lee or Dick as he almost never used Richard (to my knowledge). Everyone liked him, he was funny, hardworking, honorable, respectful to women, smart, (he was really good looking) although I don’t think he saw himself that way-he was very humble. I loved to sit and listen to him (around his brothers and sisters-at my grandparents house) tell stories. He was funny and I think people were drawn to him. He had this amazing story of being a chaperone at a school dance-he was a teacher-and a couple of drunk young men tried to crash the party. They postured him (smacked him in the chest and told him they didn’t need to listen to him) and he carried one out above his head and threw him into the road-he was the original Mr Incredible. He had a low tolerance for bullshit (my word, not his) but he was genuinely kind and caring, although didn’t much talk about his feelings LOL. I know many times that young men in his classes at school (he taught mechanical drawing/drafting and electronics) have remarked to me and others the great respect they had for him. He was also a great athlete. I remember being in junior high or high school (he played softball many times during the summer) watching him get up to bat and ALWAYS hit the ball out of the park. He played centerfield or left field and a guy was in trouble if he hit it anywhere near my dad. He either caught the ball or threw it all the way to home plate, no one had a chance. He was All Conference and All Guard (I hope that’s right) in football in high school ( he had his jaw broke- I think as a freshman (? Not sure his age) and broke his finger playing football- his finger didn’t ever point straight -it was always bent at the end) and he played basketball too. One time making a basket at the last minute from half court to win the game (pretty sure that’s not exaggerated). He died from cancer June 20, 1985….so a anniversary coming up. I miss him terribly, I miss having an adult relationship with my dad. I’m sure he would have had good advice for me many times in my life. I’m proud he is my dad.

My grandpa Cecil was an entreprenur…he started a grocery store in our little town, along with a meat processing plant, and a Drive In. He also drove a school bus for the high school. He was a big support in my life. After my mom, brother, and sister died in a car accident- I spent a lot of time at my grandparents home because (I think) my dad was at work or spending time with friend to comfort him. I don’t remember much of that time but I do remember riding on the school bus with my grandpa, I sat right by him on the big engine in front (probably not safe but I felt safe by him). I remember his big green chair, he loved those white mints with the green center combined with peanuts, and he had a beautiful voice. He sang in our church choir often. He died from a heart attack in 1978 (I think it was 78).

My grandpa Wilton is still alive, he is a marvel. He will be 97 this year, I know right?? He is a farmer, had a dairy years ago and this is the first summer he hasn’t raised grain.  He is kind of discouraged about that, but he has been falling often so he just can’t do what he used to do. I remember being in his barn while he was milking cows (when I was in junior high or high school) and the country music was playing and he was talking to his cows. I also helped my aunt Laurie (she was only four years older than I) wash the milk cans at night or turn the hay bales during the day to kill mice that would ruin the hay. He has always been a hard worker and is an example to me to stay busy in my life and work hard.

My step dad Bob is also a great man. My step mother (I call her mom) married him some time after my father died and he is the glue in our family (so to speak). I think he keeps everyone level headed and I know he cares about us all even though has only known most of us as adults. I love and respect Bob, he is a great man.

My husband is a great man (last but not least) haha he is such a funny, thoughtful, kind, hard working guy. He really supports me in whatever I’m doing, whether it’s work, my blog, my fashion obsession, or any of my outside drama that causes me pain- he is my rock! I love him so ❤️❤️❤️ he is also a genuinely good man- so connected to honesty, integrity and true to his relationship with me. He is such a funny guy- he will be telling me a story and it sounds believable but (I know for sure) is something he’s made up! He’s so funny! He loves cooking and car shows along with fixing things, “I can fix that”. A couple of his favorite tv shows are Storage Wars and Pawn Stars. He puts up with my nerdy obsessions too like Star Wars and Star Trek (he told me he didn’t like Star Wars when it first came out LOL but watches it with me cause he is a wonderful husband!

The pictures below are first five of my dad, next picture is my grandpa Wilton with my grandma, next two pictures are me with my husband and my husband alone, next picture is some of my family with my grandpa Wilton and picture is my grandpa Cecil when he was young (bottom on the right). Then I add a recent picture of Bob with mom and a recent picture of my grandpa Wilton.

Holiday Adventures

Hello friends!

How was your Memorial Day weekend?? I hope you had a wonderful time!

I had a good day on Saturday and Sunday, even Monday was technically good but unexpected.

Saturday hubs and I went zip lining down Provo Canyon which was an amazing experience. We went with Provo Canyon adventures and went on five zip lines (did the first one twice) just to get the hang of things. It was a beautiful day and we had great time. I tried to spin a couple of times and almost ended up coming into one platform backwards which kind of freaked me out, but it all ended well. Afterwards we drove into Heber City and dined at Granny’s Drive In which was soooo good. I might have been really hungry but it was very good LOL!

Sunday was kind of laid back; we went to church and then some of our children came to visit. We then took a trip to the cemetery to visit the grave of my youngest son, he would be 20 in October of this year. It was a somber visit but we talked about him and how old he would be and how my daughter probably wouldn’t be as spoiled because she wouldn’t have been the youngest. It was nice despite the situation.

Then yesterday started out wonderful; I woke early and got ready for a morning bike ride. I rode down Provo River Trail to the lake and around the trail on the east side of the lake. I then decided to ride up to the University Parkway underpass because last year it was closed due to the road construction and I wanted to see if it had been completed. Amazing, it is completed and if I wanted, I could go farther but I already had gone about five miles so I turned around and headed home. On the way I crossed a wood bridge with a sharp 90 degree turn off the bridge with a fence on one side and a drop off to the river on the other. A young woman and her son were at the turn (stopped) with his little bike/training wheels; I didn’t want to run them over and almost stopped, but they completely blocked the trail and I fell off the edge, flipped over my bike and fell down into the weeds and rocks. It really hurt, no lie- my right knee is scraped pretty bad, I pulled the hamstring in my left leg and I managed to smash my face into my handle bars. It was no fun and I had to ride my bike all the way back home with my hurt knees (waaaaaa) I spent most of the day icing my knee although I’m still sore today and a little annoyed that some people on the trail do not know the rules of the “road” so to speak.

Later in the day all the (adult) children came over and we had a BBQ which made the rest of my day fun! I sure love spending time with all the kids and grandkids!

Ups and downs for the holiday weekend but I think this is life and normal. Usually the positive outweighs the negative in my experience.

Thanks for reading friends and enjoy your four day work week!

Week full of tripping

Hello friends!

I told you I would update on my trip to my clients service.

My trip started at 130 am… wait what?? Yes I accidentally woke at 130 and finally just dragged myself out of bed at 145. I figured it was hopeless to try for 15 more minutes of sleep and actually I’m glad I did cause I’m a little of an early bird so those extra few minutes made me very calm.

I fell asleep on the plane; let’s face it, it was dark, quiet, and the buzz of the engines just pulled me right to sleep 😴 I’m pretty sure my mouth was open, I sleep with my mouth open, I could in theory catch bugs. I was rudely awakened when someone’s phone went off! I actually dreamt I was at home and slept through my alarm so I woke freaking out! (Luckily I did not wake my neighbor lol)

I even got to the rental car company without (don’t think so) looking as if I had no clue what I was doing! That’s a win win!

Then I plugged the Church or Cathedral address into my google map on my phone and off I went (stopping off at a luckily found Denny’s for breakfast as I was starving! Seriously who wants to eat breakfast at 3 am?? Wasn’t feeling it) then back on the road… but as I entered the chapel it did not appear as if prepared for a service. It looked like an ordinary day…? Help

Yes I went to the wrong church, apparently two have the exact same name but in different cities …so I had to high tail it out of there and hopefully make it on time! Thank goodness I did, I think it meant a lot to the parents that I was there, they seemed comforted and I got to hear lots of wonderful memories of my client throughout the day. It was a beautiful day, I was exhausted but it was a beautiful day.

I did try to go shopping afterwards and found the “most noted” mall in that particular city but by the time I drove around downtown looking for parking I figured I would not have enough time to make it back to the rental car and airport before my flight so I did not shop- I know, sad huh. Although I did see a great deal of said city and really enjoyed driving into these tall tall skyscrapers that I hadn’t seen before! I felt brave and accomplished going on this trip and renting a car all on my own -I am woman – ❤️

I got back home pretty tired, you can see by the pic I took at airport I’m dragging a little. But made it home, yay!

Now tomorrow me and hubs are going on a road trip for our anniversary! We hope to relax and go hiking, catch a movie, see a concert, lay by the pool and just chill. I’m super stoked to be going on another trip for a four day weekend! Here are pics of a couple outfits I’m packing because they’re so summery! Got them both at Target.

I just want to thank you, my friend. Thanks for reading! I sure appreciate all the support you give me by reading my blog, it means a lot. Have a great Thursday (tomorrow)!

Happy in sorrows

Hello friends!

I thought I would give an update to my week- it’s been a full week!

My employer is paying for me to travel to (city- undetailed as it would give info about my client) and visit my client’s memorial service which is really nice that they are willing to take care of this for me.

I have a couple of worries I will share:

1. I am an introvert and the only person I know is (dead)- I’m trying to be respectful but I don’t know another way to phrase it (at the same time I think my client would see this as a humorous situation)

2. I’ve never visited (certain city) other than the airport – and will be driving myself around- I hope I don’t get lost

3. I have to get up at 2 am for my flight- I might be tired – I will for sure need food (where can I find gluten free food in (city?) to help address fatigue

So I’ve googled all the places I need to drive and looked at the maps of all the locations. I also noticed several shopping locations which look like fun (my return flight is later so I might have an hour or two to explore). You all know I excel at shopping!

I do love to travel and discover new locales and I think discovering a new place and shopping (#self care) might distract me from being sad or overwhelmed on this trip. I’ll let you know what happens!

Addiction and Sadness

Hello friends!

I’ve had a sad week, you all know I’m a therapist IRL right? Well one of my clients overdosed and died early Tuesday morning. I haven’t had a client pass away before and it’s been painful. It also remind me of why I’m a therapist; I wanted to make a difference in the fight against addiction. Sometimes this is a sad fight.

I had a work training today; I was part of a group activity where the leader asked us all to (create) and remember each person’s individual (thought up) hand gesture as part of a mindfulness activity and I started sobbing-almost uncontrollably- that wasn’t a super convenient time for me to feel my sadness although I’m overwhelmed right now so I guess it comes out in weird ways.

I usually have a really cheery personality so I feel exhausted to be super sad all the time. I’m sad but I am worn out and don’t want to be sad. I’m conflicted for sure because it’s normal in this situation to be sad. I haven’t sobbed in meetings with other clients so somehow I guess I’m keeping it together.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that emotions are normal and I know it’s unreasonable to expect ourselves or others not to have emotions in normal sad situations. We are human after all.

(I wish we could win the war on addiction, I wish the road led to recovery)