It’s A Woman Thing

So last night, I had to unwind before going to bed. Work this week was not a pleasant experience. (For some reason I feel like work should be fun! It shouldn’t be work, I don’t know where I’ve got this odd idea)

My Oprah magazine came in the mail and I thought I would read a bit to focus on something else!

I found an article on Menopause and thought I would see if there’s anything in it to help explain WTH my life feels the way it does πŸ˜‚πŸ˜† I was genuinely curious.

So, to give a little background. Thursday in heading in the door to work and finding out there isn’t an office – I felt this crazy surge of rage (and freak I’m not an angry person) and an image popped into my head of myself “throwing my metal water bottle at the speed of light smashing through the big glass window” in our main front office-WTH is wrong with me??

Anyway, back to my magazine and article on menopause. Did you know, unreasonable anger is a symptom of menopause?? When I read that, I thought you gotta be kidding me!! All this time I wondered if I was going crazy or if I was a bad person or somehow I’ve been crazy all along. Trust me, these are odd thoughts for me as a therapist but this totally makes sense to me.

There have been soooo many times at the checkout or in traffic or at work that I just feel outrageously angry and I never knew this is normal for a woman going through menopause.

First off, it might just be lucky that we don’t have many menopausal women going postal out in public cause I’ve managed to control my flash of anger but how is everyone else doing it?

Holy cow, wouldn’t it be nice if someone let us know this is what to expect when we will never be expecting?? Hopefully one day my hormones will settle down and I’ll be my normal self again.

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Bucket List

Hello friends!

Summer is flying by and I’ve been super busy!

I did something brave last week, I jumped off a bridge into a lake (Palisades Reservoir) It was part of our summer family reunion activities ❀️ we also floated down Salt River but no video (lots more fun)

I didn’t know it was on my bucket list; I’ve never jumped off a bridge before. I’ve never jumped off a cliff before.

I don’t know why, now that I’m older, I’m doing all these things? Maybe age causes brain damage??

Apparently there is a correct way to jump off a bridge into water. Who knew?? Not me 🀨 and oddly enough I did not ask questions.

It was a high bridge (high to me) in a little cove of the reservoir I often played in while growing up. I learned to water ski there when I was young. I personally still like water skiing better 😊

Apparently one should point the toes, drop in the water straight, with your arms high above your head coming to a point or dive like Greg Louganis (but I can’t do that!) LOL

So I just jumped off when I gathered the courage. My left arm was out to my side with my elbow bent. My right arm tried to plug my nose but missed as the force of the water whipped my hand up and I scratched my own forehead. The water was pretty deep and took awhile to rise to the surface and I had a feeling I would drown (panicked).

But I have it on video that I was brave so I never have to do it again. Thankfully my left arm isn’t hurting so bad anymore πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I hope you enjoy my video- bridge jumping

Shakespeare Confusion

Hey friends!

I hope you’ve all had a great weekend! We’ve actually had a lot of sunshine the last few days and it’s been wonderful! I don’t miss the ❄️

Hubs and I had a fun, yet super confusing experience at the theatre last night. We attended “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” which follows Hamlet through these two minor characters.

I have never ever ever been so confused in a play before. These two characters start out the play by themselves but they are confused themselves and keep finding themselves going in and out the story and characters of Hamlet.

I thought to myself, “I have no idea what’s going on…why is this so hard, I want to leave, I can’t stay awake, I’m gonna die, I can’t do this” but the tickets were snagged by good friends so I didn’t want to offend them.

I also knew there was an intermission so I kept thinking, “it’s not even halfway done, the intermission hasn’t even started, oh my gosh I can’t sit through this”!

When the intermission started I felt relieved but still frustrated because I couldn’t figure out what was going on and I typically understand Shakespeare.

As our friends and I started talking, I realized “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (really) Are Dead”. I said, what if they’re dead?? They can’t remember their names, don’t know where they were going or where they came from, there was a really weird coin toss which always resulted in the coin being “heads” up-impossible in real life, and they couldn’t follow the other characters as they left the scene they were in. It was weird but all of a freakin sudden made sense that they actually were dead but didn’t know it.

The last half of the play was more pleasant cause I knew they were dead and details made sense.

But seriously I don’t know if I’ve ever used that much brain power that late at night and took so long to understand something. Holy crap that was hard and maybe it prevented early Alzheimer’s but I never want to do that again…. a whole play focused on one persons idea of death.

Then again I have been binge watching Criminal Minds on Netflix and “Cold” podcast. Maybe an existential tragicomedy is just what my brain needed??

Check it out and see what you πŸ€”

Thankful for my Legs

Hello friends!

Happy Thursday! Can you believe it’s the end of September? It doesn’t feel like it here in Utah; it’s still a little warm.

I was walking the other day, trying to get in my 10,000 steps and over the time of my walk- I noticed feeling very thankful for my legs.

I have a couple of scars on my knees- one I don’t remember what happened but the other was a bicycle wreck when I was a teenager. Several years ago I hurt my left knee waterskiing and this year I hurt my right knee in another bicycle accident but no lasting effects from these incidents.

I can’t generally sit cross legged or kneel/squat for long periods as my knees and hips start to ache; but on the whole my legs have really taken me far and been so dependable.

I’m very thankful for the things my body does: such as biking on the river trail and lifting weights.

I think it’s important to focus on what our bodies do rather than what they look like. How about you?

Stretch First

Hey friends!

I have another birthday this week and it’s a good reminder not to do stupid things!

My co worker (probably 15 years younger than I and parent to a young girl on cheer squad) on Friday said “I’ll give you $50 to do this”… and she straightened out her leg and propped it on top of the front desk in our office entryway (counter is shoulder height).

Of course I can’t resist a dare and did so with my left leg, while she is saying “you have to straighten your knees”! Then I tried it with my right leg (seriously what was I thinking??)

I got a huge cramp in my right thigh that immediately made my nonsense stop but since then have been having terrible pain in my hip (maybe my hamstring?)

I couldn’t sleep most of the night and am thinking how silly I was to take a dare! (I did do it though-she owes me $50)! At least I could have stretched first!!

LESSON LEARNED

Real Talk about Hair Loss

Hello friends!

I thought today would be somewhat different. I want to share my experience with hair loss.

In 2012 I was diagnosed with Hashimotos disease and my thyroid surgically removed. Back in 2004 I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and I think things went downhill (health wise) after that, although the last couple of years have not been bad. I’ve struggled with low energy, low motivation, anxiety, depression, muscle aches, weight gain, digestion problems, menstrual problems, mood swings, hair loss, hair thinning, skin problems, insomnia, irritability….yada yada…seems like the list goes on and on…(oh and forgetfulness or brain fog).

In 2016 I started seeing a naturepath and eating gluten free. I also discovered being soy free has benefits; along with taking natural supplements and hormones. Early 2018 my hair started falling out and I reduced my thyroid medication a tad along with adding Zinc and Iron to my supplemental regime (along with special shampoo, which BTW DOES NOT WORK). For a few months my hair stopped falling out and I felt encouraged.

A few weeks ago, my hair began falling out again and who knows what the problem is this time. I don’t think I can go lower on my thyroid medication and it might be something nutritional IDK! Anyway I sort of felt like shaving my head, really it would be less stressful to worry about my hair falling out. I think it would be easier to wear a wig and just whip that thing on every morning. It sure would take the complication out of getting ready every day….:)

I told one of my cute IG friends about my ideas and she just happens to sell Halo Couture. It’s an easy apply hair extensions products. Human hair is woven into a type of hat thing that lays right above your neck with a invisible wire going over the top of your head. It really is amazing.

She just happened to have some at her house so I popped over and tried on two items: an 18″ Halo and a topper (fits on top of my head to create the look of fullness), both in dark brown. I was feeling a need to change, had been contemplating shaving my head and getting a wig but buying these two options would allow me to continue keeping my hair whatever happens and the two pieces together make my hair look very full! After I tried them on, I was hooked and my worry assuaged. (I was also super sick of curling my hair every day, cause my own hair is very fine and thin; doesn’t keep a curl and would not match my previous Halo if I didn’t curl it). These two new Halo’s are straight. Win for me, win for my hair! For right now I’m not shaving my head, I just got hair four inches longer than before!

So if anyone out there is struggling with thinning hair or hair loss due to aging or disease or hormones, please don’t be discouraged. There is a lot you can do these days to address or hide hair loss and it doesn’t have to devastate your life. I know the last few weeks I’ve been kind of freaking out cause I thought my hair loss was changing for the better. Realizing it’s not and that my disease will go back and forth between healing and attack (autoimmune disease) can be discouraging and feel hopeless.

Please if you have any questions for me, let me know. Don’t be overwhelmed by it all.

Let Me Adjust

Hello Friends and happy Monday!

My son moved out (again) into his own apartment Saturday and I found myself quite sad. I wondered why….

I started this blog when my youngest child (daughter) married and moved out last year, I thought it would help me adjust and focus on something else other than work or on being sad that my children were all moved out.

Then this January, my son found himself in somewhat of a quandary with a work position and his apartment lease ending. He moved in with us with the intention of it only being a month or so, but ended up being a little bit longer.

About a month ago, my oldest daughter and her husband (with two littles XOXO) moved in for a couple weeks until their rental house was available. So for some time, my house was quite busy as you can imagine. But my daughter moved back out and now my son is gone and I find myself a little sad as we (me and hubs) are empty nesters (again)! ?

I really think I can get used to this as long as it doesn’t continually change. I live with lots of people, I almost live alone, live with lots of people, live almost alone…I just need time to adjust and consistency! LOL I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE, HAVE I MENTIONED THAT? LOL

I need time to adjust (this involves chocolate and Netflix) and now I’m feeling sad again, so thanks for reading friends! Pretty soon I will be back to myself or who I thought I was before I live with lots of people and then living alone.