Category Archives: Aging

Hot Legs

I remember listening to Rod Stewart’s song Hot Legs at a youth activity at our local reservoir when I was maybe 15. I thought I did not have legs like that and never would have legs like that.

At 15 I judged my legs. I felt ashamed of my feet too-at size 10 feet I thought there was something wrong with me.

Now that I’m a little more aware of my judgements-I remember being involved in athletics-volleyball, softball, and riding my bicycle to work (3 miles? Each direction) every day in the summer. I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anything wrong with my legs. One summer I got an in park homerun at a softball tournament. My legs can run.

Now that I’m older, I realize my legs are still hot legs. I helped my daughter move last week-up and down stairs maybe a hundred times -filling a 26 foot Uhaul and unloading the same Uhaul. My knees work really well.

Hot Legs apply to anyone with legs. I’m so thankful I have legs that work.

No Makeup No Problem

There’s this idea that our appearance is the determination of our worth. Or our amount of followers determine our worth. Or our net worth/finances determine our personal worth.

You get where I’m going right?

Our worth as individuals is not dictated by appearance, weight, hair, social standing, financial status, or number of followers.

We are worthy because we are human beings-deserving of love and connection each of us no matter our appearance, age, weight, money, or status.

Let’s start valuing and loving ourselves (this includes our bodies-no matter our appearance or ability)

My 2020 mantra-YOU ARE ENOUGH

(No makeup-no problem)

Survivor 2020

Lots of women right now are on social media talking about their Covid weight and how they’re planning on, participating, or advertising a new diet.

I think we all need to congratulate ourselves for living in 2020. It’s been stressful, it’s different, sometimes it’s scary, we are isolated from other people, they are also weird natural disasters going on, along with political and racial conflict too.

Oh and masks! Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask. Who knows right?

Maybe it’s ok to say-Hey thank goodness it’s almost September and I’m a survivor. My body and my mind are strong and I can do hard things.

Isn’t this more important than the stupid number on the scale?

I am surviving 2020-that’s the most important thing.

I AM ENOUGH

Hello friends!

It took me a month or so to be brave to make this post.

At first I thought-maybe I should try to lose weight and then I caught myself. No not that. That is not right. I am enough.

Then this morning (when the stars aligned so to speak) I thought: my eyes are puffy. I have this red spot on my neck. Nooo not that again. I am enough.

It was also difficult to take a picture and be happy with one. I am enough.

I am enough, without makeup, with hair loss, in my body that is brave experiencing autoimmune disease, in my changing body, in my age. I am 56…..

I AM ENOUGH (even with all the pictures I did not like)

It’s A Wigs Life

Hi friends!

Happy Wednesday

Over the weekend I had some fun at the wig store-Creative Wigs in Orem Utah.

I’ve been a little lonely ever since I got rid of my black hair, it is such a fun color; so on a whim I went to the wig store Saturday!

There were several women at the store who seemed to be supporting one older lady in a wheelchair. She seemed hesitant to get a wig although the one I saw on her looked so cute!

I started helping myself to the wigs displayed and tried some on at the stand next to the big group.

I found the one I liked ($125 too, what a deal! Along with being synthetic and heat resistant!)and an associate trimmed the lace around the face for me.

I went to pay for my gorgeous, curly, long, dark, lush prize and met this cute, older lady at the cashier. I told her she would love having a wig and it looked so cute on her! Don’t we all need a vote of confidence from a stranger??

YES

It’s Haute at Work

Hello Friends and Happy Wednesday!

Yesterday I wore a cute chunky sweater, it’s so comfy and warm (along with my cute leopard sneakers and jeans) because it’s November right and mornings are super cold (30 degrees)…

But as I walked into my office, I was hit with a wall of heat. WTH, my work temperature changes so much from season to season; I remember taking a cardigan to work in July because the AC is cranked so high my fingers are numb but then I leave the building and my black car with black leather interior is 103 degrees! It’s such an adjustment right??

So yesterday I had forgotten this phenomenon and wore a warm sweater! This is bad, I can’t even shed a layer!

In the afternoon, after I’ve met with five clients and had my door shut all day, I told my co worker that I was dying of heat. I also noticed as I was in the bathroom earlier, that my neck and chest were bright red (heat does not make my rosacea happy). She suggested I keep my door open, although I have a lot of computer documentation to do (as I’m a therapist) and I find it hard to keep the door open with people walking back and forth in the hall and still focusing on my work.

SO….I asked our kitchen (I work in a residential mental health facility) if I could have a bag of ice.

They fixed me up real good; a ziploc bag of ice and I’m sitting cool. I stuck it down the back of my jeans and I was able to keep my door shut and get my work done. After 10 minutes I poured out 1/2 cup of water and then back in my office with the ice bag down my front.

Problem solved!

 

(Today I wore a coat -early morning temps- but underneath have two light tops and am wearing sandals-I’m prepared today!)

Fairly Fairy Tale Distorted

Hello friends!

Happy Monday!

I hope all of you had a good weekend! I had fun with my family in our annual Halloween party. Each of us makes some kind of ghoulish food that is actually edible and it’s super fun. We had this party on Saturday and it really made my weekend 🙂

I thought I would share something interesting I discovered last week. My granddaughter was doing her daily reading (she is a 4th grader and is supposed to practice her reading every day). She read Snow White aloud to me and then asked me what I thought.

Me being a therapist all of a sudden realized! Holy crap, what’s up with fairy tales? Here is a story of a woman who daily asks her mirror “who is the fairest”? as if that’s a contest one person can win. Then one day as she has aged, her mirror lets her know, there’s a new contestant and BTW you lose now, game over!

Really??? And to top that off, said older woman decides to pursue murder as a way of solving her problem of aging and not being the “fairest of them all”???

This sounds like a modern day problem, but I’ve heard this story forever. I’m just now getting a little bit of insight that we have some jacked up ideas in our culture…like women need to be beautiful and number one beautiful all their lives, like it’s a contest and winner take all, even to the extreme. That actually doesn’t sound like a fairy tale, that sounds like things I’ve heard for years. But this crap is what we’re also teaching our young people.

My granddaughter asked me what I thought of her reading and I told her it’s actually ok for women to age and it’s ok for someone to be younger and prettier than me. It’s a normal part of life and I’m happy anyway even if there is someone younger, (like everyone under 55) and prettier (that’s always gonna be a thing right? I don’t have to buy into that dumb contest), wrapping my arms around her mother and telling her I love that she is younger and prettier and it’s ok that she is and I’m ok the way I am….

And we don’t need to hire a huntsman to hunt down the competitor.

Boom (images are of the Disney Movie) and picture is me and my two daughters

It’s A Woman Thing

So last night, I had to unwind before going to bed. Work this week was not a pleasant experience. (For some reason I feel like work should be fun! It shouldn’t be work, I don’t know where I’ve got this odd idea)

My Oprah magazine came in the mail and I thought I would read a bit to focus on something else!

I found an article on Menopause and thought I would see if there’s anything in it to help explain WTH my life feels the way it does 😂😆 I was genuinely curious.

So, to give a little background. Thursday in heading in the door to work and finding out there isn’t an office – I felt this crazy surge of rage (and freak I’m not an angry person) and an image popped into my head of myself “throwing my metal water bottle at the speed of light smashing through the big glass window” in our main front office-WTH is wrong with me??

Anyway, back to my magazine and article on menopause. Did you know, unreasonable anger is a symptom of menopause?? When I read that, I thought you gotta be kidding me!! All this time I wondered if I was going crazy or if I was a bad person or somehow I’ve been crazy all along. Trust me, these are odd thoughts for me as a therapist but this totally makes sense to me.

There have been soooo many times at the checkout or in traffic or at work that I just feel outrageously angry and I never knew this is normal for a woman going through menopause.

First off, it might just be lucky that we don’t have many menopausal women going postal out in public cause I’ve managed to control my flash of anger but how is everyone else doing it?

Holy cow, wouldn’t it be nice if someone let us know this is what to expect when we will never be expecting?? Hopefully one day my hormones will settle down and I’ll be my normal self again.

Bucket List

Hello friends!

Summer is flying by and I’ve been super busy!

I did something brave last week, I jumped off a bridge into a lake (Palisades Reservoir) It was part of our summer family reunion activities ❤️ we also floated down Salt River but no video (lots more fun)

I didn’t know it was on my bucket list; I’ve never jumped off a bridge before. I’ve never jumped off a cliff before.

I don’t know why, now that I’m older, I’m doing all these things? Maybe age causes brain damage??

Apparently there is a correct way to jump off a bridge into water. Who knew?? Not me 🤨 and oddly enough I did not ask questions.

It was a high bridge (high to me) in a little cove of the reservoir I often played in while growing up. I learned to water ski there when I was young. I personally still like water skiing better 😊

Apparently one should point the toes, drop in the water straight, with your arms high above your head coming to a point or dive like Greg Louganis (but I can’t do that!) LOL

So I just jumped off when I gathered the courage. My left arm was out to my side with my elbow bent. My right arm tried to plug my nose but missed as the force of the water whipped my hand up and I scratched my own forehead. The water was pretty deep and took awhile to rise to the surface and I had a feeling I would drown (panicked).

But I have it on video that I was brave so I never have to do it again. Thankfully my left arm isn’t hurting so bad anymore 😂😂

I hope you enjoy my video- bridge jumping

Shakespeare Confusion

Hey friends!

I hope you’ve all had a great weekend! We’ve actually had a lot of sunshine the last few days and it’s been wonderful! I don’t miss the ❄️

Hubs and I had a fun, yet super confusing experience at the theatre last night. We attended “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” which follows Hamlet through these two minor characters.

I have never ever ever been so confused in a play before. These two characters start out the play by themselves but they are confused themselves and keep finding themselves going in and out the story and characters of Hamlet.

I thought to myself, “I have no idea what’s going on…why is this so hard, I want to leave, I can’t stay awake, I’m gonna die, I can’t do this” but the tickets were snagged by good friends so I didn’t want to offend them.

I also knew there was an intermission so I kept thinking, “it’s not even halfway done, the intermission hasn’t even started, oh my gosh I can’t sit through this”!

When the intermission started I felt relieved but still frustrated because I couldn’t figure out what was going on and I typically understand Shakespeare.

As our friends and I started talking, I realized “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (really) Are Dead”. I said, what if they’re dead?? They can’t remember their names, don’t know where they were going or where they came from, there was a really weird coin toss which always resulted in the coin being “heads” up-impossible in real life, and they couldn’t follow the other characters as they left the scene they were in. It was weird but all of a freakin sudden made sense that they actually were dead but didn’t know it.

The last half of the play was more pleasant cause I knew they were dead and details made sense.

But seriously I don’t know if I’ve ever used that much brain power that late at night and took so long to understand something. Holy crap that was hard and maybe it prevented early Alzheimer’s but I never want to do that again…. a whole play focused on one persons idea of death.

Then again I have been binge watching Criminal Minds on Netflix and “Cold” podcast. Maybe an existential tragicomedy is just what my brain needed??

Check it out and see what you 🤔