Category Archives: age positivity

Hot Legs

I remember listening to Rod Stewart’s song Hot Legs at a youth activity at our local reservoir when I was maybe 15. I thought I did not have legs like that and never would have legs like that.

At 15 I judged my legs. I felt ashamed of my feet too-at size 10 feet I thought there was something wrong with me.

Now that I’m a little more aware of my judgements-I remember being involved in athletics-volleyball, softball, and riding my bicycle to work (3 miles? Each direction) every day in the summer. I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anything wrong with my legs. One summer I got an in park homerun at a softball tournament. My legs can run.

Now that I’m older, I realize my legs are still hot legs. I helped my daughter move last week-up and down stairs maybe a hundred times -filling a 26 foot Uhaul and unloading the same Uhaul. My knees work really well.

Hot Legs apply to anyone with legs. I’m so thankful I have legs that work.

No Makeup No Problem

There’s this idea that our appearance is the determination of our worth. Or our amount of followers determine our worth. Or our net worth/finances determine our personal worth.

You get where I’m going right?

Our worth as individuals is not dictated by appearance, weight, hair, social standing, financial status, or number of followers.

We are worthy because we are human beings-deserving of love and connection each of us no matter our appearance, age, weight, money, or status.

Let’s start valuing and loving ourselves (this includes our bodies-no matter our appearance or ability)

My 2020 mantra-YOU ARE ENOUGH

(No makeup-no problem)

Survivor 2020

Lots of women right now are on social media talking about their Covid weight and how they’re planning on, participating, or advertising a new diet.

I think we all need to congratulate ourselves for living in 2020. It’s been stressful, it’s different, sometimes it’s scary, we are isolated from other people, they are also weird natural disasters going on, along with political and racial conflict too.

Oh and masks! Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask. Who knows right?

Maybe it’s ok to say-Hey thank goodness it’s almost September and I’m a survivor. My body and my mind are strong and I can do hard things.

Isn’t this more important than the stupid number on the scale?

I am surviving 2020-that’s the most important thing.

I AM ENOUGH

Hello friends!

It took me a month or so to be brave to make this post.

At first I thought-maybe I should try to lose weight and then I caught myself. No not that. That is not right. I am enough.

Then this morning (when the stars aligned so to speak) I thought: my eyes are puffy. I have this red spot on my neck. Nooo not that again. I am enough.

It was also difficult to take a picture and be happy with one. I am enough.

I am enough, without makeup, with hair loss, in my body that is brave experiencing autoimmune disease, in my changing body, in my age. I am 56…..

I AM ENOUGH (even with all the pictures I did not like)

Some of my Fears

Hello all,

Several years ago (actually about 2001) I was searching for my dog (Rufus) around 130am in my neighborhood with my (now ex) husband.

I ran out of the house in just a knee length T-shirt with no shoes. It was summer and I often run around with no shoes.

I couldn’t find Rufus and set back walking home. I was only about 3 blocks from my house (ex husband was on a bicycle looking) when I realized someone was following me. I turned around and a man was on the sidewalk nearby..I think he said “come here” and reached out to grab me. I jumped so far back and maybe I yelled I don’t remember. It was scary. I called the police the next day but nothing happened. I don’t remember feeling safe in my neighborhood again.

After this incident I took a Taekwondo class where I learned how to yell and punch. Who knew I had a hard time yelling?

Then a few years ago (again quite a few, this is 2007) I worked at our local State Mental Hospital graveyard shift. One morning around 6am-I am almost off -and as I walked out the staff door into the general patient area-a psychotic woman (much bigger than I) punched me in the face-between the eyes-(it did not break my nose but hurt like hell later and gave me terrible headaches) I cannot remember her punching me but found myself on the ground in the hall with her arm around my neck-choke style. Several staff members got her arms from around my neck and I stumbled to the staff desk.

A few years ago I called 911 because I could see a man beating up a woman on our street corner. I didn’t feel safe going outside in the middle of the night to confront someone.

As a woman (especially one getting older) I feel vulnerable and I don’t want to be beat up again or fear for my safety in my neighborhood or in the car by myself.

So the last few weeks I have been visiting my local Ready Gunner-and I’ve rented about 10 handguns deciding what I like and what I’m comfortable with. This last Tuesday I bought a Glock 43X and now I need to spend time at the range getting more comfortable with my new friend.

It’s A Wigs Life

Hi friends!

Happy Wednesday

Over the weekend I had some fun at the wig store-Creative Wigs in Orem Utah.

I’ve been a little lonely ever since I got rid of my black hair, it is such a fun color; so on a whim I went to the wig store Saturday!

There were several women at the store who seemed to be supporting one older lady in a wheelchair. She seemed hesitant to get a wig although the one I saw on her looked so cute!

I started helping myself to the wigs displayed and tried some on at the stand next to the big group.

I found the one I liked ($125 too, what a deal! Along with being synthetic and heat resistant!)and an associate trimmed the lace around the face for me.

I went to pay for my gorgeous, curly, long, dark, lush prize and met this cute, older lady at the cashier. I told her she would love having a wig and it looked so cute on her! Don’t we all need a vote of confidence from a stranger??

YES

Fairly Fairy Tale Distorted

Hello friends!

Happy Monday!

I hope all of you had a good weekend! I had fun with my family in our annual Halloween party. Each of us makes some kind of ghoulish food that is actually edible and it’s super fun. We had this party on Saturday and it really made my weekend 🙂

I thought I would share something interesting I discovered last week. My granddaughter was doing her daily reading (she is a 4th grader and is supposed to practice her reading every day). She read Snow White aloud to me and then asked me what I thought.

Me being a therapist all of a sudden realized! Holy crap, what’s up with fairy tales? Here is a story of a woman who daily asks her mirror “who is the fairest”? as if that’s a contest one person can win. Then one day as she has aged, her mirror lets her know, there’s a new contestant and BTW you lose now, game over!

Really??? And to top that off, said older woman decides to pursue murder as a way of solving her problem of aging and not being the “fairest of them all”???

This sounds like a modern day problem, but I’ve heard this story forever. I’m just now getting a little bit of insight that we have some jacked up ideas in our culture…like women need to be beautiful and number one beautiful all their lives, like it’s a contest and winner take all, even to the extreme. That actually doesn’t sound like a fairy tale, that sounds like things I’ve heard for years. But this crap is what we’re also teaching our young people.

My granddaughter asked me what I thought of her reading and I told her it’s actually ok for women to age and it’s ok for someone to be younger and prettier than me. It’s a normal part of life and I’m happy anyway even if there is someone younger, (like everyone under 55) and prettier (that’s always gonna be a thing right? I don’t have to buy into that dumb contest), wrapping my arms around her mother and telling her I love that she is younger and prettier and it’s ok that she is and I’m ok the way I am….

And we don’t need to hire a huntsman to hunt down the competitor.

Boom (images are of the Disney Movie) and picture is me and my two daughters

Crop Tops (are for you)

Hey friends! Happy Sunday! I hope this post helps you ignore that tomorrow is Monday! 😊

I thought I would share something I discovered lately; it seems as if crop tops are making another splash into fashion. That is all fine and good if you are 24 (I used to think)-

A few months ago (really it was probably 6 months) I found the cutest crop tee -regular neckline) from Forever 21, it’s an army green with bold letters spelling “Chicago” and I just fell in love (plus it reminds me of my trip to this beautiful city)! It’s been in my drawer forever (you know I seldom get rid of clothes-just in case) and this week I was scrounging for something different to wear when I re discovered my crop tee!

Let me tell you how a crop tee works for someone my age…you wear high waisted jeans with it! And I also added a structured plaid jacket (I wore to work) so it seems very businesslike until you realize I’m wearing distressed denim and a crop top. It’s so fun!

I’m gonna keep my eyes open for more crop tops! (Think Forever 21- such a wallet friendly place) Be open to all kinds of styles no matter your age! You can make anything fit your own vibe!

It’s A Woman Thing

So last night, I had to unwind before going to bed. Work this week was not a pleasant experience. (For some reason I feel like work should be fun! It shouldn’t be work, I don’t know where I’ve got this odd idea)

My Oprah magazine came in the mail and I thought I would read a bit to focus on something else!

I found an article on Menopause and thought I would see if there’s anything in it to help explain WTH my life feels the way it does 😂😆 I was genuinely curious.

So, to give a little background. Thursday in heading in the door to work and finding out there isn’t an office – I felt this crazy surge of rage (and freak I’m not an angry person) and an image popped into my head of myself “throwing my metal water bottle at the speed of light smashing through the big glass window” in our main front office-WTH is wrong with me??

Anyway, back to my magazine and article on menopause. Did you know, unreasonable anger is a symptom of menopause?? When I read that, I thought you gotta be kidding me!! All this time I wondered if I was going crazy or if I was a bad person or somehow I’ve been crazy all along. Trust me, these are odd thoughts for me as a therapist but this totally makes sense to me.

There have been soooo many times at the checkout or in traffic or at work that I just feel outrageously angry and I never knew this is normal for a woman going through menopause.

First off, it might just be lucky that we don’t have many menopausal women going postal out in public cause I’ve managed to control my flash of anger but how is everyone else doing it?

Holy cow, wouldn’t it be nice if someone let us know this is what to expect when we will never be expecting?? Hopefully one day my hormones will settle down and I’ll be my normal self again.

Trolling the Junior Section

Hello friends and Happy Monday!

I hope everyone had a good weekend! I had the best time with four of my grandkids, they are so precious; I am very blessed. Not to mention they are a hoot! One grandson in response to a question, did you get enough bacon tonight said “Yes (in a news commentator tone) I had 23 pieces”! LOL! One granddaughter proves herself to be an excellent shopper in training at Build A Bear and had a stash of $$$ things she wanted but was very sweet to put most of it back. Another granddaughter is developing her sense of humor and put a dinosaur growl into her sweet lovable snugly kitty! Another grandson is at the age where he is learning about his emotions and is not quite adept at being effective to express himself (code: he had a meltdown in the parking lot when asked to hold hands for his safety, btw grandma is not going to let him run through parking lots)! Anyway it was fun and I love them so much!

I think these little people keep me young because I find myself trolling the junior section of Target looking for trendy, colorful and different wardrobe pieces that I can adapt for myself. I discovered this AH-mazing skirt (it’s so colorful and the material is kind of bumpy so there is that textural piece that is fun). I paired it with boots also from Target (these two items from their Wild Fable line-I’m guessing it’s targeting young women, but hey it’s cute so head there next time you’re in Target) and I added a spring-y graphic T from JCPenney, I just love graphic tees but I want my message to fit who I am, so this one is bomb! I also (just for kicks) added a real distressed jean jacket (last year from Forever 21) and my snugly faux fur backpack (from Walmart) and here ya go! A fun, trendy, colorful outfit that fits my personality!

WHO CARES ABOUT AGE?? THIS FITS ME TO A “T”!