I also have a neck injury which I am seeing specialists to help with pain. I received two shots in my head (my occipital nerves are pinched-as they go around my scalp on the right side).
My headaches and general pain is decreased but I wore my cute blonde wig for a few hours on Monday and š„š„I was in such pain!
So…I canāt wear wigs right now. Who knows how long that will last.
I am now wearing my own hair although itās pretty thin. I do like the color-itās mostly silver with some black/brown. It makes me think of Storm on X-Men š
I just need some shaping-trimming as it is different lengths in different spots.
I guess I donāt have a dilemma. Iāll be who I am and wear my own hair.
I remember growing up compliments on my outward appearance were rare.
I heard the skin on my legs and arms looked smooth. I heard my hands/fingers were long and shapely.
I had acne, I struggled with styling my hair, my teeth were stained because my mom used a certain antibiotic while pregnant with me, and I fell on the ice and knocked a tooth out. I did not ever think I was pretty but I thought I was important to my Heavenly Father.
Then as an adult (with four children) I ran into a couple from my youth. I worked part time at Mervyns while attending university. They stood agape at me when I said hello, āyou are prettyā they said but their tone sounded incredulous like what the hell happened to you?? I didnāt know whether to say thank you or be offended.
I thought it was odd because I had not changed as a person. I had matured, still had acne (I have rosacea now which is very similar) I did fix my two front teeth-one that broke when I was 17 and the other chipped several times by my rambunctious children. I experienced several challenges and overcame and I think more confident in myself.
I realized then that other peopleās view of me is not important and interestingly enough changes all the time. My view of myself is what is important and it should not be based on my appearance because it also changes every year. My appearance is a ever changing landscape. I am grateful to have the chance to live and experience; I am less grateful for chronic pain but it sure is nice when I donāt notice it.
I am grateful to be a daughter, mother, wife, grandmother, friend, co worker, therapist, hard worker, fun loving, funny (sometimes only I think this š) caring, loving, kind, thoughtful, determined, and creative person. None of this has anything to do with my appearance. Thank goodness for that.
Iām the same person in all these pictures no matter my appearance.
Now that Iām, and many others are wearing masks every day when not at home Iām noticing some things.
Iāll be in my office, alone-not required to wear a mask while alone in a room- and Iāve had my mask on for at least 15 minutes.
My husband and I leave a store and heās mumbling while we drive home-I realize he still has his mask on.
I used to think people in their cars with masks on must be weirdos but now I know
Itās like wearing a bra (maybe this is a stretch) -lets go with PANTS. Once you get used to wearing pants you kinda forget theyāre there. I think itās the same now with masks. Now weāve got used to wearing masks we forget theyāre there.
Donāt judge the people in their car with masks on, our world has changed and itās the new norm.
Thereās this idea that our appearance is the determination of our worth. Or our amount of followers determine our worth. Or our net worth/finances determine our personal worth.
You get where Iām going right?
Our worth as individuals is not dictated by appearance, weight, hair, social standing, financial status, or number of followers.
We are worthy because we are human beings-deserving of love and connection each of us no matter our appearance, age, weight, money, or status.
Letās start valuing and loving ourselves (this includes our bodies-no matter our appearance or ability)
Lots of women right now are on social media talking about their Covid weight and how theyāre planning on, participating, or advertising a new diet.
I think we all need to congratulate ourselves for living in 2020. Itās been stressful, itās different, sometimes itās scary, we are isolated from other people, they are also weird natural disasters going on, along with political and racial conflict too.
Oh and masks! Wear a mask, donāt wear a mask. Who knows right?
Maybe itās ok to say-Hey thank goodness itās almost September and Iām a survivor. My body and my mind are strong and I can do hard things.
Isnāt this more important than the stupid number on the scale?
I am surviving 2020-thatās the most important thing.
It took me a month or so to be brave to make this post.
At first I thought-maybe I should try to lose weight and then I caught myself. No not that. That is not right. I am enough.
Then this morning (when the stars aligned so to speak) I thought: my eyes are puffy. I have this red spot on my neck. Nooo not that again. I am enough.
It was also difficult to take a picture and be happy with one. I am enough.
I am enough, without makeup, with hair loss, in my body that is brave experiencing autoimmune disease, in my changing body, in my age. I am 56…..
I AM ENOUGH (even with all the pictures I did not like)
My granddaughterās grandpa died last week (on her fathers side). I am so sad for my sweet granddaughter. Grandparents are such a wonderful blessing.
My dadās parents were a bigger part of my life after my mother died. I lived with them for a time after she died (I donāt remember how long but I think I remember asking where my dad was, that I missed him). Then I lived with my dad but spent many afternoons and weekends with my grandpa and grandma Dana.
I was especially close with my grandma Dana and she loved me unconditionally and tried to teach me it wasnāt important to be popular or pretty; that there were other things in life more important. My grandma and grandpa Dana both passed away before I graduated high school.
I was blessed to still have my grandma and grandpa Lindberg, my motherās parents. I spent the rest of my life until about 10 years ago building an adult relationship with my grandma. It was the best thing ever, to have her in my life this long. I always felt loved and accepted around her. My grandpa died last year and he was an example to me. What a blessing to have them both through my adult life.
I hope I can be as loving and nonjudgmental with my granddaughter as my grandparents were with me. Grandparents are a special gift.
