I remember growing up compliments on my outward appearance were rare.
I heard the skin on my legs and arms looked smooth. I heard my hands/fingers were long and shapely.
I had acne, I struggled with styling my hair, my teeth were stained because my mom used a certain antibiotic while pregnant with me, and I fell on the ice and knocked a tooth out. I did not ever think I was pretty but I thought I was important to my Heavenly Father.
Then as an adult (with four children) I ran into a couple from my youth. I worked part time at Mervyns while attending university. They stood agape at me when I said hello, “you are pretty” they said but their tone sounded incredulous like what the hell happened to you?? I didn’t know whether to say thank you or be offended.
I thought it was odd because I had not changed as a person. I had matured, still had acne (I have rosacea now which is very similar) I did fix my two front teeth-one that broke when I was 17 and the other chipped several times by my rambunctious children. I experienced several challenges and overcame and I think more confident in myself.
I realized then that other people’s view of me is not important and interestingly enough changes all the time. My view of myself is what is important and it should not be based on my appearance because it also changes every year. My appearance is a ever changing landscape. I am grateful to have the chance to live and experience; I am less grateful for chronic pain but it sure is nice when I don’t notice it.
I am grateful to be a daughter, mother, wife, grandmother, friend, co worker, therapist, hard worker, fun loving, funny (sometimes only I think this 😂) caring, loving, kind, thoughtful, determined, and creative person. None of this has anything to do with my appearance. Thank goodness for that.
I’m the same person in all these pictures no matter my appearance.
Now that I’m, and many others are wearing masks every day when not at home I’m noticing some things.
I’ll be in my office, alone-not required to wear a mask while alone in a room- and I’ve had my mask on for at least 15 minutes.
My husband and I leave a store and he’s mumbling while we drive home-I realize he still has his mask on.
I used to think people in their cars with masks on must be weirdos but now I know
It’s like wearing a bra (maybe this is a stretch) -lets go with PANTS. Once you get used to wearing pants you kinda forget they’re there. I think it’s the same now with masks. Now we’ve got used to wearing masks we forget they’re there.
Don’t judge the people in their car with masks on, our world has changed and it’s the new norm.
Lots of women right now are on social media talking about their Covid weight and how they’re planning on, participating, or advertising a new diet.
I think we all need to congratulate ourselves for living in 2020. It’s been stressful, it’s different, sometimes it’s scary, we are isolated from other people, they are also weird natural disasters going on, along with political and racial conflict too.
Oh and masks! Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask. Who knows right?
Maybe it’s ok to say-Hey thank goodness it’s almost September and I’m a survivor. My body and my mind are strong and I can do hard things.
Isn’t this more important than the stupid number on the scale?
I am surviving 2020-that’s the most important thing.
My granddaughter’s grandpa died last week (on her fathers side). I am so sad for my sweet granddaughter. Grandparents are such a wonderful blessing.
My dad’s parents were a bigger part of my life after my mother died. I lived with them for a time after she died (I don’t remember how long but I think I remember asking where my dad was, that I missed him). Then I lived with my dad but spent many afternoons and weekends with my grandpa and grandma Dana.
I was especially close with my grandma Dana and she loved me unconditionally and tried to teach me it wasn’t important to be popular or pretty; that there were other things in life more important. My grandma and grandpa Dana both passed away before I graduated high school.
I was blessed to still have my grandma and grandpa Lindberg, my mother’s parents. I spent the rest of my life until about 10 years ago building an adult relationship with my grandma. It was the best thing ever, to have her in my life this long. I always felt loved and accepted around her. My grandpa died last year and he was an example to me. What a blessing to have them both through my adult life.
I hope I can be as loving and nonjudgmental with my granddaughter as my grandparents were with me. Grandparents are a special gift.