Failure: A Therapist View

Hello friends and happy Tuesday! I hope you all had a great holiday weekend!

I’ve been thinking about life challenges and want to share some of my therapist views …for free ❤️

I think life is hard at different times for all of us and we might often feel like a failure if things in our lives don’t go as we think they “should” or as we “expected”.

At times like these we feel a failure. BUT it’s super important to remember that feeling like a failure-is a feeling and it’s not a fact. Shoulds, expectations, and comparisons are not helpful in our lives, are actually detrimental, and cause us to second guess ourselves and our value as human beings.

One of my favorite TED talks is “How to Practice Emotional First Aid” by Guy Winch. It’s amazing and I’ve shared it with many clients. Look it up-live it.

When we feel like a failure, we normally stop what we’re doing. We give up; then that emotion wins! It’s just an emotion.

As long as we keep pushing toward future goals, we never fail.

If you feel like a failure, just remember I am rooting for you. We are all doing the best we can. You are not a failure.

Guy Winch-Ted Talk Emotional First Aid

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Times I Didn’t Listen (and why I’m proud)

Hello friends!

I’ve been listening/watching several inspirational speakers (Rachel Hollis, Ashley Lemieux, Mike Lemieux, and Stuart Edge) which is really pumping me up to be myself! ❤️

Today I thought I would share the times in my life that I DID NOT LISTEN to others opinions of me and that makes me proud of myself.

Many years ago in admiring (someone close to me-their coworker physical workout and body improvement) I said “I want to do that, I want to do what they did” – to which my loved one said- “you can’t do that, what makes you think you can”? To which I thought to myself-watch me, and then I’ll rub your nose in it.

Many years ago the same person (now not part of my life) said “no one’s going to want to marry you or date you, you’re old and have all these kids”- to which I thought- you’re an a$$hole-I’m worthy just the way I am, anyone would be happy to be in a relationship with me.

Several years ago, in speaking with a loved one (different one this tome) about my course work in graduate school, she said “you don’t really think you can be a therapist do you? You can’t do that”. To which I thought, you aren’t really in my corner are you and yes I can. (We haven’t had much of a relationship since).

A couple of years ago someone said “you can’t really be a blogger or have a fashion Instagram-why are you trying”? To which I thought, wow you don’t know me at all do you? I am already doing that.

And then there are the three times I listened: one person (not really close but a trusted adult) shamed me for my voice-“why do you always talk like a baby”, another person close to me (or so I thought) shamed me for my voice- almost exact words, and another time I listened…someone shamed me for posting on Facebook and Instagram (about several things) AND I listened.

I’m not listening anymore to the voices that tell me who they think I should be -THAT IS MY DECISION-and that is why I’m sharing this with you today.

Bad January

Oh my gosh friends!

I just realized I haven’t posted for almost a week! Wow, time flies when I’m busy! I hope everyone is doing well; I’m looking forward to January ending I’ve gotta admit. It’s not my favorite month.

Poor January, it’s like the Monday of the whole year!

At least living in Utah it feels like that; snow, inversion, slick roads, no sunshine ever, and super low temps so most nights I’m afraid my pipes will freeze (like 10 degrees and lower)

But yesterday and today we’ve had sunshine and I’m hopeful that good weather is possible at some point in the future. Maybe not near future 😂 but sometime! 😂😂

And that reminds me, Groundhog Day is approaching. Do you think we’ll have six more weeks of winter? (In all honesty, the first day of Spring on the calendar is March 20th right??) just plan on spring around that time and you won’t be disappointed (sometimes it’s a wee bit later than that in Utah).

These are my random musings today; back to regularly scheduled fashion posts tomorrow!

New Year Renewal

Hello friends!

Happy New Years Eve!

I hope you are all ready for 2019! How did the year go by so quickly??

I’m happy for a new year; it’s like a fresh start (and of course then there is spring {after snow melts in a couple months}and everything in the earth is new too)! I love renewal and fresh starts!

I’m happy for all I learned in 2018; I benefited from training in two interventions (DBT PE and EMDR) to help my clients with trauma and that is amazing! I love to help my clients.

I also got to spend a lot of time with my family and hubs which I love! I decided to spend more time with my grandkids this year, I will set aside every other Saturday to play with them. I’ve been normally very protective of my Saturday’s as it feels like my recharge day from work but I realized time with the grandkids does the same thing for me ❤️ plus they’re so freakin cute! And they each let me kiss them to pieces! They’re so sweet to their grandma! On Christmas Day, the three year old almost choked me out saying “I’m giving you big hugs grandma”! He’s so cute! (And very 💪😂)

I need to think of fun activities to do with a 8, 7, 4, and 3 year old that doesn’t wear me out but they love. If you have ideas, pass them on to me ❤️

That’s my goal for this year! Have more fun with my family! I think I can definitely do that ❤️❤️

I hope all of you as my wonderful readers get to discover the many blessings of 2018 and a renewed sense of joy anticipating 2019. I wish you and yours a wonderful New Year. Thanks for reading friends!

Hair Saga

Hello friends and happy Sunday!

I thought I’d share some of my continuing hair ideas.

Most of you know I have hashimotos and struggle with fluctuating hair loss. A few months ago I purchased a couple of Halo extensions.

One problem I have is that if I’m not wearing the extensions, I need to pull my own hair up into a clip. Some of my hair is long and some about chin length due to frequent hair loss and then regrowth; it’s a constant struggle with autoimmune disease.

My thought is that I will cut my own hair so that sometimes I can have my own hair “out and about” or wearing a hat (which I love to do but can’t with the extensions) and sometimes I’ll wear my extensions (have long hair).

What do you all think of this? I know many people that wear different hair pieces depending on their mood.

One idea is this type of pixie cut which I’ve had before and I like. Another is Cate Blanchett’s hair in Oceans Eight (a new movie with Sandra Bullock). I’m leaning toward the blunt cut (Cate’s cut). It’s different and fun and then when I want long hair I can put on my extensions.

Here are some pictures to show what I mean. (Pixie cut courtesy of Victoria Beckham) I hope this helps anyone else who might be struggling with hair loss too. (BTW watch this movie-Oceans Eight, cause I love Cate Blanchett’s style and will be trying to copy her in some ways IRL 😂🤣)

Celebrate with Shorts

Hello Friends!

How was your weekend? I hope you and Monday are making peace with each other 🙂 Me and Mondays don’t always get along that why I wish this for you LOL

I thought I would share a new found discovery: I haven’t worn shorts in about 16 years. I think I was always a little self conscious and felt awkward about my legs but the last year or so I realize I need to let that go!

(Last year as I began my blog, I started wearing more dresses in the summer, kind of letting my legs out in the open) and I realize its fun and there is nothing wrong with my legs 🙂

So this year for my birthday, I got a gift card from my employer and I bought a straw tassel hat and a yellow striped ruffle sleeve shirt at Target and paired it with some destroyed denim shorts (the best deal ever for $3 at JCPenney)! Then I took a picture with my shorts on AND went out to dinner with the hubs with my shorts on! Is that celebrating or what??! I feel super accomplished taking this step and being less judgmental of myself.

Anyone want to join me and be less judgmental?? All aboard my self love train! Everyone is welcome and there is room! 🙂

Real Talk about Hair Loss

Hello friends!

I thought today would be somewhat different. I want to share my experience with hair loss.

In 2012 I was diagnosed with Hashimotos disease and my thyroid surgically removed. Back in 2004 I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and I think things went downhill (health wise) after that, although the last couple of years have not been bad. I’ve struggled with low energy, low motivation, anxiety, depression, muscle aches, weight gain, digestion problems, menstrual problems, mood swings, hair loss, hair thinning, skin problems, insomnia, irritability….yada yada…seems like the list goes on and on…(oh and forgetfulness or brain fog).

In 2016 I started seeing a naturepath and eating gluten free. I also discovered being soy free has benefits; along with taking natural supplements and hormones. Early 2018 my hair started falling out and I reduced my thyroid medication a tad along with adding Zinc and Iron to my supplemental regime (along with special shampoo, which BTW DOES NOT WORK). For a few months my hair stopped falling out and I felt encouraged.

A few weeks ago, my hair began falling out again and who knows what the problem is this time. I don’t think I can go lower on my thyroid medication and it might be something nutritional IDK! Anyway I sort of felt like shaving my head, really it would be less stressful to worry about my hair falling out. I think it would be easier to wear a wig and just whip that thing on every morning. It sure would take the complication out of getting ready every day….:)

I told one of my cute IG friends about my ideas and she just happens to sell Halo Couture. It’s an easy apply hair extensions products. Human hair is woven into a type of hat thing that lays right above your neck with a invisible wire going over the top of your head. It really is amazing.

She just happened to have some at her house so I popped over and tried on two items: an 18″ Halo and a topper (fits on top of my head to create the look of fullness), both in dark brown. I was feeling a need to change, had been contemplating shaving my head and getting a wig but buying these two options would allow me to continue keeping my hair whatever happens and the two pieces together make my hair look very full! After I tried them on, I was hooked and my worry assuaged. (I was also super sick of curling my hair every day, cause my own hair is very fine and thin; doesn’t keep a curl and would not match my previous Halo if I didn’t curl it). These two new Halo’s are straight. Win for me, win for my hair! For right now I’m not shaving my head, I just got hair four inches longer than before!

So if anyone out there is struggling with thinning hair or hair loss due to aging or disease or hormones, please don’t be discouraged. There is a lot you can do these days to address or hide hair loss and it doesn’t have to devastate your life. I know the last few weeks I’ve been kind of freaking out cause I thought my hair loss was changing for the better. Realizing it’s not and that my disease will go back and forth between healing and attack (autoimmune disease) can be discouraging and feel hopeless.

Please if you have any questions for me, let me know. Don’t be overwhelmed by it all.