All posts by hautechocolate4fashion

Hot Legs

I remember listening to Rod Stewart’s song Hot Legs at a youth activity at our local reservoir when I was maybe 15. I thought I did not have legs like that and never would have legs like that.

At 15 I judged my legs. I felt ashamed of my feet too-at size 10 feet I thought there was something wrong with me.

Now that I’m a little more aware of my judgements-I remember being involved in athletics-volleyball, softball, and riding my bicycle to work (3 miles? Each direction) every day in the summer. I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anything wrong with my legs. One summer I got an in park homerun at a softball tournament. My legs can run.

Now that I’m older, I realize my legs are still hot legs. I helped my daughter move last week-up and down stairs maybe a hundred times -filling a 26 foot Uhaul and unloading the same Uhaul. My knees work really well.

Hot Legs apply to anyone with legs. I’m so thankful I have legs that work.

No Makeup No Problem

There’s this idea that our appearance is the determination of our worth. Or our amount of followers determine our worth. Or our net worth/finances determine our personal worth.

You get where I’m going right?

Our worth as individuals is not dictated by appearance, weight, hair, social standing, financial status, or number of followers.

We are worthy because we are human beings-deserving of love and connection each of us no matter our appearance, age, weight, money, or status.

Let’s start valuing and loving ourselves (this includes our bodies-no matter our appearance or ability)

My 2020 mantra-YOU ARE ENOUGH

(No makeup-no problem)

Survivor 2020

Lots of women right now are on social media talking about their Covid weight and how they’re planning on, participating, or advertising a new diet.

I think we all need to congratulate ourselves for living in 2020. It’s been stressful, it’s different, sometimes it’s scary, we are isolated from other people, they are also weird natural disasters going on, along with political and racial conflict too.

Oh and masks! Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask. Who knows right?

Maybe it’s ok to say-Hey thank goodness it’s almost September and I’m a survivor. My body and my mind are strong and I can do hard things.

Isn’t this more important than the stupid number on the scale?

I am surviving 2020-that’s the most important thing.

I AM ENOUGH

Hello friends!

It took me a month or so to be brave to make this post.

At first I thought-maybe I should try to lose weight and then I caught myself. No not that. That is not right. I am enough.

Then this morning (when the stars aligned so to speak) I thought: my eyes are puffy. I have this red spot on my neck. Nooo not that again. I am enough.

It was also difficult to take a picture and be happy with one. I am enough.

I am enough, without makeup, with hair loss, in my body that is brave experiencing autoimmune disease, in my changing body, in my age. I am 56…..

I AM ENOUGH (even with all the pictures I did not like)

Grandparents

Hello friends

My granddaughter’s grandpa died last week (on her fathers side). I am so sad for my sweet granddaughter. Grandparents are such a wonderful blessing.

My dad’s parents were a bigger part of my life after my mother died. I lived with them for a time after she died (I don’t remember how long but I think I remember asking where my dad was, that I missed him). Then I lived with my dad but spent many afternoons and weekends with my grandpa and grandma Dana.

I was especially close with my grandma Dana and she loved me unconditionally and tried to teach me it wasn’t important to be popular or pretty; that there were other things in life more important. My grandma and grandpa Dana both passed away before I graduated high school.

I was blessed to still have my grandma and grandpa Lindberg, my mother’s parents. I spent the rest of my life until about 10 years ago building an adult relationship with my grandma. It was the best thing ever, to have her in my life this long. I always felt loved and accepted around her. My grandpa died last year and he was an example to me. What a blessing to have them both through my adult life.

I hope I can be as loving and nonjudgmental with my granddaughter as my grandparents were with me. Grandparents are a special gift.

Domestic Violence

Last week I spent about three hours with a client that finally shared with me that her partner assaulted her the night before our session.

She gave all kinds of reasons why he did it; she did something wrong, he said he was sorry, she didn’t want people to talk about her, she didn’t want him to get in trouble, she didn’t want her family to beat him up, she’s not the kind of person to call the police, and she can take care of herself.

It’s so difficult for someone in an abusive relationship to speak up! They blame themselves or think they deserve to be treated the way they are.

My neighbor’s daughter was murdered by her ex boyfriend. It’s so tragic and terrible.

A little more than a year ago, I worried my daughter’s life was in danger from her husband; when she told me (finally) what was going on-I (with help from others) packed her up and moved her out of harms way in a few hours.

The time that women (usually a victim is a woman but not always) are trying to leave a relationship is the most dangerous and the time when that person is at high risk of being hurt or killed.

I am enclosing a link to a domestic violence website and a PDF of the cycle. Please speak up and get help. There are so many resources out there for you.

The Hotline

Domestic violence cycle

The Long Walk

Hi everyone! Happy weekend!

So when I went on vacation, I thought I would walk 10,000 steps a day. I like walking.

But actually walking 10k a day takes FOR EVE VER! I’m serious! It took about 2 1/2 hours to walk 10k. That’s like half my morning…and can I add that if you walk 10k for 3 days in a row; it gets pretty boring. There are only a couple places I can walk that far without worrying about traffic and without being in full sun (remember my rosacea does not like the sun). So it’s a little boring.

I would so much rather ride my bike. It’s faster too.

When I was 8 years old (I think) I got a purple bike with a purple banana seat and I rode it all over my little rural town in Wyoming next to my grandma’s house during the summer. What fun memories. I would so much rather ride a bike than a long walk….

Painless

Hey friends! I hope you had a safe and fun 4th of July!

I’ve experienced a few physical injuries that might have contributed to my chronic neck pain- two falls and one big punch between the eyes (this gave me headaches, that’s why I think it hurt my neck). And I’ve found two (2) things that reduce my pain.

ICE-yes ice. I have a big ice pack in the freezer and some nights after work my neck and head are particularly tense and sore (lets be honest-some mornings and some days and some afternoons and some middle of the nights) and if I lay on that ice pack-most of my pain is numb because it’s so cold. (I once used heat after ice-never again-it was terrible to flare up the pain)! Also-sometimes laying down is terribly painful.

Guns-I had just made the decision to buy a gun (was in terrible pain) and stopped by a local gun store/range. A clerk told me about the different guns and then I rented some to try them out-DUDE I was distracted from my pain because I had to focus so especially solely on the gun I was using to be safe. Since I noticed this wonderful affect, I’ve been going to the gun range often as I can. I didn’t even notice when the slide took a chunk out of my hand until my blood was dripping down my hand (sorry but this is important information) I was so focused on shooting the gun and trying to figure out how to hit the target that I didn’t feel any pain.

THIS COULD BE A MARKETING POINT 😊

ICE and GUNS-why don’t doctors tell anyone about this??

Adventures at the Gun Range

Hey friends!

In the course of renting guns and shooting at a local range I had some interesting things happen.

The first time I tried out a gun, I wasn’t quite sure how to hold it (one of the male cashiers gave me some quick tips but he wasn’t really into helping a woman I’m guessing). I held a gun in my right hand and had my left hand too high on top of my right-when I fired the gun-I think the slide kicked back and took a piece out of my hand below my thumb. I didn’t really notice until the blood was running down my hands. I didn’t have any Kleenex in my bag but did have chlorox wipes so wiped my hand with (🤨)

I walked out of the range into the store and asked to switch guns-also asking if they had bandaids and apologizing for bleeding on the gun handles. The clerk looked at me like WTH??? 😂

Another day I arrived at the range to shoot by myself. The clerk asked if I was alone and I said yes. He asked if I had been there before. Yes again, twice before. He then asked to have me call someone I had been shooting with that could “verify” my mental stability. What?????

Yes, he said they always do this. Well not the two previous times (is he the clerk that knows I bled on the guns and has a resentment against me?) so I called my husband who thankfully answered and verified I was yes very stable.

When I came back in to switch guns the aforementioned resentful clerk switched guns by pointing the muzzle of one right at my face (that’s a low blow right?)

Anyway I finally found the gun I wanted (with help from my co worker) despite some idiot yanking my chain.

GO ME

My husband joked: well, were you wearing a wig or your butch cut?! (Right, that explains why I look unstable!) He laughed and said he should have told the clerk “oh my gosh, don’t let her back in, call the police right now”!

Yeah that would have been funny 😆

Some of my Fears

Hello all,

Several years ago (actually about 2001) I was searching for my dog (Rufus) around 130am in my neighborhood with my (now ex) husband.

I ran out of the house in just a knee length T-shirt with no shoes. It was summer and I often run around with no shoes.

I couldn’t find Rufus and set back walking home. I was only about 3 blocks from my house (ex husband was on a bicycle looking) when I realized someone was following me. I turned around and a man was on the sidewalk nearby..I think he said “come here” and reached out to grab me. I jumped so far back and maybe I yelled I don’t remember. It was scary. I called the police the next day but nothing happened. I don’t remember feeling safe in my neighborhood again.

After this incident I took a Taekwondo class where I learned how to yell and punch. Who knew I had a hard time yelling?

Then a few years ago (again quite a few, this is 2007) I worked at our local State Mental Hospital graveyard shift. One morning around 6am-I am almost off -and as I walked out the staff door into the general patient area-a psychotic woman (much bigger than I) punched me in the face-between the eyes-(it did not break my nose but hurt like hell later and gave me terrible headaches) I cannot remember her punching me but found myself on the ground in the hall with her arm around my neck-choke style. Several staff members got her arms from around my neck and I stumbled to the staff desk.

A few years ago I called 911 because I could see a man beating up a woman on our street corner. I didn’t feel safe going outside in the middle of the night to confront someone.

As a woman (especially one getting older) I feel vulnerable and I don’t want to be beat up again or fear for my safety in my neighborhood or in the car by myself.

So the last few weeks I have been visiting my local Ready Gunner-and I’ve rented about 10 handguns deciding what I like and what I’m comfortable with. This last Tuesday I bought a Glock 43X and now I need to spend time at the range getting more comfortable with my new friend.