All posts by hautechocolate4fashion

You Are Enough-Be Vulnerable

Hello Friends!

It’s getting close to the New Year and I want to leave you with a few thoughts consistent with my last post.

In treatment with my clients lately I’ve been focusing on helping people increase their awareness of shame and how to combat it. Shame keeps us stuck, it keeps us from reaching out, it tells us we are not enough, we are not important. Shame is paralyzing and keeps us isolated.

Many people deal with depression and suicide thoughts and feel ashamed because they think that there is something wrong with them, they think this is something they deserve, they are suffering in silence and it is not necessary. According to the National Institute for Mental Health shares statistics that 17.3 million adults had at least one major depressive episode (2017-data courtesy of SAMHSA). Depression is no respecter of persons; these numbers indicate anyone is vulnerable to develop depression whether it is situational or genetic factors.

Situational depression can affect people through illness, marital change, employment change, or death of a loved one; even a move away from loved ones could affect developing depression. In addition trauma can affect a development of depression too.

There isn’t a reason to be ashamed for having depression or suicide thoughts. These things affect many people.

I suggest listening to Brene Brown on YouTube; she has a couple of really excellent TEDtalks about shame and vulnerability. These are also very popular, getting millions of views. She emphasizes the way to overcome or silence shame is to be vulnerable. As a therapist I see this meaning: talk to someone about your struggles. Find social support somewhere that you can speak openly about your struggles and discover that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

PLEASE REACH OUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING- it works.

 

TIPPs for Distressful Thoughts

Hello friends!

The holidays can be a difficult time for many people and sometimes those suffering can experience thoughts of suicide or self harm.

Here are some ideas to help if you’ve had these thoughts: I’ve coached many clients to manage these distressful thoughts by using DBT skills and it works very well!

When first experiencing suicide or self harm thoughts can be very painful and distressing, use the TIPP skill (temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, or paired muscle relaxation)

Temperature-hold an ice cube or dunk your face into an ice/cold water bowl for at least 5 seconds.

Intense exercise-run on a treadmill or outside for 3 minutes at a full sprint.

Paced breathing-deep breathing -slowly count to 4 as you breathe in, hold your breathe for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds and hold for 4 seconds-repeat for a couple of minutes.

Paired muscle relaxation-starting from your toes- tenae every muscle group for 5 seconds and then release- moving you to your head and face.

After having done all of TIPP, people are usually quite tired and in a different frame of mind but just in case…get involved in an activity with a friend, do something kind for someone else, connect with someone who loves you… and always important: make sure you get enough sleep, nutrition, exercise, and medications if any are recommended for you along with meeting with a professional.

I hope these tips (haha TIPP) help anyone who struggles in this area. Know you are important ❤️

Taking Care of You

Hello friends!

I’ve been absent for a bit, I apologize for my delay. I’ve been contemplating where to go with my blog for a couple of reasons.

First, I’ve realized that many people that are influencers often give away or resell their clothes after one photo shoot…(that doesn’t really appeal to me. I love my clothes and usually keep a quality piece for many years so that seems wasteful in my opinion although I know I cannot judge others…this is just what works for me).

Second, someone I knew from kindergarten through high school committed suicide about two weeks ago, no one knew he was suffering, and I’ve been thinking how to help others that struggle or suffer alone.

I thought for a time I might focus on offering advice for others how to deal with life when you have difficulties that seem too hard to bear. I am a therapist IRL working at a mental health/substance abuse treatment center for young adults, and I feel terribly sad knowing that people suffer without anyone knowing or without resources.

Here are some tips I’ve learned while studying DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy-created for people with Borderline Personality Disorder but very helpful with people struggling with suicide and self harm thoughts.

(A past client of mine created a little flip chart for therapists to reference when feeling like we are burned out and one page I particularly enjoy is:)

LOVE YOURSELF LIKE A NEW PUPPY: Prioritize good sleep habits, Nutrition, Exercise, Connection with people you enjoy (add:honest discussion about what is going on with you), Focus on practices that promote calmness and well being, Meditation, Journaling, Talk therapy, quiet time alone doing an activity you enjoy. (These ideas are gleaned from DBT)

Many people struggle with depression, anxiety, or suicide and self harm thoughts but that doesn’t have to mean your life is not worth living. Talk to someone and let them know what you are going through and get some help. Speaking up can be scary but after that, the darkness fades if you share it with someone. The burden is lighter if you share.

It’s A Wigs Life

Hi friends!

Happy Wednesday

Over the weekend I had some fun at the wig store-Creative Wigs in Orem Utah.

I’ve been a little lonely ever since I got rid of my black hair, it is such a fun color; so on a whim I went to the wig store Saturday!

There were several women at the store who seemed to be supporting one older lady in a wheelchair. She seemed hesitant to get a wig although the one I saw on her looked so cute!

I started helping myself to the wigs displayed and tried some on at the stand next to the big group.

I found the one I liked ($125 too, what a deal! Along with being synthetic and heat resistant!)and an associate trimmed the lace around the face for me.

I went to pay for my gorgeous, curly, long, dark, lush prize and met this cute, older lady at the cashier. I told her she would love having a wig and it looked so cute on her! Don’t we all need a vote of confidence from a stranger??

YES

Dressing for Fall Weather

Hello Friends and Happy Wednesday!

We are nearly halfway through our work week! I do enjoy my work and I also enjoy my weekends, how about you? I love remembering it’s halfway!

I thought it would be fun to describe what I do to plan for a fall day that is 36 in the morning and 65 in the afternoon- 65 is such a mild temperature and could even pass for short sleeve shirts but the morning would not.

Something I try to do is layer….I wear my coat in the morning so I’m not freezing; then when I get to work I shed that but lots of times have a cardigan over a short sleeve shirt or light long sleeve shirt so I’m not too haute! (Remember my last post when I forgot and wore a huge sweater LOL)!

Today I tried something new for me, I wore a bright orange tank top but paired it with my leopard cardigan. So my arms are bare under the cardigan and it’s not too warm in my office or outside but perfect with the cardigan over the top! I also think it will work well in the afternoon because my cardigan sleeves are not a heavy blend.

I got my tank originally about four years ago from Nordstrom Rack and it’s such a pretty color, it deserves a rotation in my wardrobe. This is also super affordable; thrifting or shopping our closets are the most economical and ecologically friendly things we can do. The cardigan is fairly new, (I’ve been searching forever for a leopard cardigan) and it’s from Chicos, but I’m guessing it will last for years. I’ve had items from Chicos before and am still wearing them years later, so it’s definitely a piece to keep in my closet. I added some fun earrings that interestingly enough are fairly old (affordable) but also Chicos but look fun with the tank and cardigan; I wore some pre destructed jeans that fit my butt well from Nordstrom (Kut) and my boot like shoes from Target.

Here I am, ready for any weather that might pop up this time of year! And I’m shopping my closet! So this is a win win!

Have a great week friends!

It’s Haute at Work

Hello Friends and Happy Wednesday!

Yesterday I wore a cute chunky sweater, it’s so comfy and warm (along with my cute leopard sneakers and jeans) because it’s November right and mornings are super cold (30 degrees)…

But as I walked into my office, I was hit with a wall of heat. WTH, my work temperature changes so much from season to season; I remember taking a cardigan to work in July because the AC is cranked so high my fingers are numb but then I leave the building and my black car with black leather interior is 103 degrees! It’s such an adjustment right??

So yesterday I had forgotten this phenomenon and wore a warm sweater! This is bad, I can’t even shed a layer!

In the afternoon, after I’ve met with five clients and had my door shut all day, I told my co worker that I was dying of heat. I also noticed as I was in the bathroom earlier, that my neck and chest were bright red (heat does not make my rosacea happy). She suggested I keep my door open, although I have a lot of computer documentation to do (as I’m a therapist) and I find it hard to keep the door open with people walking back and forth in the hall and still focusing on my work.

SO….I asked our kitchen (I work in a residential mental health facility) if I could have a bag of ice.

They fixed me up real good; a ziploc bag of ice and I’m sitting cool. I stuck it down the back of my jeans and I was able to keep my door shut and get my work done. After 10 minutes I poured out 1/2 cup of water and then back in my office with the ice bag down my front.

Problem solved!

 

(Today I wore a coat -early morning temps- but underneath have two light tops and am wearing sandals-I’m prepared today!)

Predicting Fashion

Hello friends!

I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend! I did some last minute yard preparations yesterday for winter (and I do mean last minute) because it snowed today. 😂

Have you ever wondered what wardrobe items to buy each season? I’ve been thinking of this since I’ve done this blog for two years. There seem to be some recurrent themes unusually enough (“Florals in Spring…Groundbreaking”-Devil Wore Prada)

Usually in Fall, you will see sweaters in rich hues of brown, black, ivory, green, red, orange, and burgundy with pops of leopard, camo, and snakeprint on all separates, accessories and footwear.

In the winter look for sequins and glitter on anything! I’m of the opinion that you can wear sparkle anytime of the year but these items are most often found during the holidays. Faux fur is always a great choice in any color or print.

Spring calls for florals and fun stripes; bright and pastels colors are always to be found.

Summer comes shining in with shorts and silky kimonos, reds, blues, whites, more brights of pink, yellow, green, and violets.

Over the years I’ve noticed buying quality made pieces in these categories will last me year after year.

I have a pair of black sequin leggings I bought from Express two years ago (during the holidays) that I just love, but they come in and out of vogue depending on the time of year.

It’s interesting to note that styles/colors are pretty stable from each year to the next. Sometimes you just need an updated accessory to look fashionable and on trend.