Strange Medicine

I saw a new doctor last week; to have a nerve induction study. It’s to rule out a nerve autoimmune disease.

They strapped electrodes to my feet and legs and zapped me. It’s not as fun as it sounds. And to top it off, the doctor and his assistant come back after 10 minutes outside the door and he tells me: “I want you to know that I KNOW your pain is real”. (I had a mask on so they could only see my eyes or they would have been able to read the expression on my face which essentially said “no shit Sherlock”.

He went on to say that I needed treatment from a neurologist and a psychiatrist to treat my pain (that’s not in my head) and to help me with CBT- (hint-therapy) but he doesn’t know me and doesn’t know I’m a therapist.

He doesn’t know that I’ve been to therapy this year talking about two deaths of clients (past client and present client), trauma in my family, death of a friend. He doesn’t know I practice a lot of self care, I read, I shoot, I talk about my worries, i get my toenails done, I meet up with friends, I practice a great deal of skills that I teach my own clients. He doesn’t know I work, and I’m highly efficient at my job, and he doesn’t know I detach when I leave work.

He doesn’t know I haven’t weighed myself in years, I try to notice my thoughts and don’t buy into judgements about my weight, age, and hair even though I live in this society/culture which only values women for their appearance. He doesn’t know I’m intelligent and a high functioning adult.

I have one more appointment with this doctor this week to test the nerves in my upper body-but NO my pain is not in my head. Thanks for giving me your opinion after meeting me ONCE, for ten minutes, and not asking me any questions about my health. When I do an assessment with a potential client, I spend up to three hours interviewing them and then up to two more hours writing up my recommendations. Pardon me if I don’t appreciate your ten minute assessment of my whole life.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I think it helped.

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