My relationship with Halloween

BSo I’ve always loved Halloween and the last several years associate Halloween with Harry Potter cause I love Harry Potter too. Notice the spiders crawling up my door next to me in the above picture.

In 1998, pregnant with my fifth child who was due on Halloween, and I was super excited. I mean, who wouldn’t want their birthday on Halloween?? How could it be any more fun than have a Halloween birthday??

But that was not meant to be. On October 9th, 1998 my son died (stillborn) due to the cord being wrapped around his neck too many times. My world came to a halt and I was heartbroken for a very long time. My relationship with Halloween also changed for a few years. I didn’t look forward to Halloween because I still grieved the loss of my son; sometimes I felt guilty having fun on Halloween because it is around the same time of his birth/death date.

These anniversary dates are difficult for many people, as a therapist I know that. I also know that with time, wounds heal and grieving lessens. I will always be sad for the loss of my sweet son Clayton Farrell Jenkins, he was six pounds and 19 inches, although I know I will see him again. I am LDS and part of my religious beliefs is that I will be reunited with my loved ones who have passed on. This belief carries me through difficult times.

On this day every year I feel (and times during the year) sadness about my son who would be 19 today. I can’t believe it’s been that long, oh my goodness. But I also allow myself to enjoy Halloween again. I think it’s healthy and positive that I can be involved and enjoy some silly things in life like spiders crawling up my wall just because 🙂

Since this is also a fashion blog; some of you might come here and be confused, although I didn’t feel I could be authentic today without sharing my experience. I will also add my wardrobe links  🙂 Happy Monday

Worthington Long Bell Sleeve (only plus size online, misses in store)

Karol Bootie by Shoedazzle

Here is my remembrance to Clayton and hoping he enjoys my spiders too.

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